Unsaid Words (A Larry Stylinson Fanfiction)

Letter 2 - Counselling

Dear Harry,

It's Wednesday and they think it's time I started counselling but I don't want to talk to anybody except you. I noticed I didn't get a letter back, but I reckon they took it. I was looking forward to seeing your cursive handwriting, the curls remind me of your hair. I miss lying on the sofa with you and running my fingers through your curls, that calmed my anger and made me forget about all the bad things people said. Do you remember what they used to say? I try not to, but their voices haunt me.

'You're just some fat yorkshire kid with a squeaky voice'

'Gay.'

'You're as straight as a rubber band.'

'Fat.'

'Useless'

Do you remember these Harry? I hope you don't remember the ones about you. I promise you none of them were true, you mean the world to me. Fuck what others think right? I know that wasn't my attitude as I let them get to me, but I was weak. Too weak actually. I regret being so weak Harry, maybe if I wasn't I could still be with you now, cuddling on the sofa watching Finding Nemo, just like the old times...

Back to counselling, I had my first session today. They told me I'm being put on a diet where I have to eat a certain amount of calories each day. I wasn't happy, they made me cry Harry. I got really angry and lashed out at the man who was talking to me. They had to restrain me, I was placed face down on the floor and they sat on my arms and legs so I couldn't do any more harm. They crushed my cuts and they stung, making me cry even more. I wish it never happened Harry, I do. 

They recorded my reaction today, there's a tiny clip at the side. I think it's so they can mock me, they said it's to keep an eye on my progress. I think they're judging me Harry. I skipped breakfast, dinner and tea. I refused to enter the canteen, they understood but I knew that they wanted to laugh in my face. I'm scared Harry, scared that too many things will get to me again. I need you now more than ever, I'm becoming weak without your touch. I miss your voice, laugh, hair, eyes, smile, everything. I hope you can visit me soon, I might gain some strength. I love you Harry.

Lots of love, Lou xxxx