Unsaid Words (A Larry Stylinson Fanfiction)

Letter 21 - working on a date

Dear Harry,

I'm counting down the days until I'm allowed to leave this place. They said they don't think it will be too long because of how well I've been coping since I last wrote to you, but it all depends on what my 'carers' think. Whenever I've been round them I've tried to make a good impression on them, I've kept my arms clean and walked around smiling. I know a smile probably won't make a difference but It feels good to do, you know what I mean? I loved the feeling when you made me smile, it was one of the greatest feelings you created.

Guess what? My mum told me that Lou, our college friend, has finally had her baby. Have you seen her? She's called Lux, I'll send you a picture along with this letter. She's beautiful isn't she? Her eyes, her smile, just her. I can't wait until one of my sisters has their own children, I remember when they were babies. They were gorgeous, I looked after them all the time. They were my best friends, until I met you. Imagine if we had children Harry, well adopted. How beautiful would that be? It'd be perfect, I know you have your heart set on calling your daughter Darcy and I Tommy for the boy, but I'd be perfectly fine if they were already named. Either way they'd still be ours and beautiful. I can't wait for us to start our own family, it would be perfect.

What's even better is that gay marriage has been allowed and accepted, which means we can get married. They'd be the perfect ring boy and flower girl, and I'd be so happy, just seeing you there either waiting for me or walking up the aisle, whichever we decide. I'd be crying with happiness, I really do love you Harry and I can't wait to have a perfect future with you. I'm so desperate for everything to be perfect, everything's been going wrong so far and I don't want it to be like that, not anymore. I want us to be happy, I want you to be happy, I want everyone to be happy. I want to be counting down the days until our wedding, not the days until I can finally get out of this torture chamber.

How are you? I feel like I don't ask you enough, although I'm always wondering. I want to know how you're feeling every second of the day, I love knowing details about you and what things throughout the day have made you happy. Hopefully I can be one of those things, making you smile everyday. I think I'm actually getting happier, the thought of getting out and seeing your face makes me happy. That's my motivation, I think about leaving this place and having a future with you and I don't cut or cry, I picture perfect things in my head and just pray for the date to get closer. I hope it does, I really miss you.

I'm sorry if this letter has just been about me, I just don't know what to write anymore because I don' t get a reply. So I try and think of new things to say each time, I hope you're reading all these letters and I hope you reply to at least one. Even though the thought of you is my motivation, hearing from you would make things a lot better for me. But I understand if you can't or don't want to reply, I hope you're okay Harry. I love you.

Louis xx