Unsaid Words (A Larry Stylinson Fanfiction)

Letter 4 - I apologise

Dear Harry,

I'm really sorry Harry. I need to apologise straight away. I done something stupid last night and it ended in me crying myself to sleep. I began to list all of the things about me that I hate, my insecurities. I remembered all the bad things people said to me and how they judged me, the anger inside me built up and I suddenly exploded into tears. There and then I began to hate myself. i hated my hair and my smile. i hated how clothes looked on me. i hated my voice. i hated my body. i hated how i spoke to people. i hated my personality. i hated that everything got to me. i hated that i care way too much. i hated that i'm never smart enough. i hated that i'm not good enough for anyone. i hated that people think I'm mean. i hated that nobody actually likes me. i hated being me. 

It led to me becoming really angry and frustrated, at first I ignored it and took a seat in the corner. I held my head in my hands and just thought about everything until I heard a familiar voice. I saw Liam, he was smiling, but he was with Niall. They were being affectionate right in front of me and it got me jealous. I hated the fact they could cuddle and we couldn't. I couldn't handle the stress Harry, I couldn't handle not being with you so I cut. I know I said I wouldn't but it was too much to handle, I cut your name into my arm, so you're with me all the time. Don't feel like it's your fault, because it's not. I just needed a confidence boost, so if I got to cut again, I'll see your name it will remind me not to. If I can stop cutting, I might be able to see you. I hope I can Harry, I miss you. It hurts my heart, and it makes me want to cry. I love you Harry.

Lots of love, Lou xxx

PS Harry, I didn't know what photo to send this week so I chose one of my favourites x