According to Plan

Chapter 38

My heart was on it's own little marathon. The blood in my veins rushed through me so quickly, it felt like a rollercoaster filled with screaming people tumbling and turning upside down. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream. But as I raised my hand slowly and grazed his cheek, I realised it was more than a dream, it was a state of happiness that I never thought would come. I remained there, in his gentle hold. He pulled away, and leaned his forehead against mine. His hands slid off my jaw and he leaned back.

I looked up at him, my face, a glowing red emblem behind sun-kissed skin and emerald green eyes. He reached over once more to tuck a stray hair behind my ears, then he pulled back once again.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what came over me."

I tried to speak, but the words were jumbeled in my throat. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many things I just wanted to confess at that moment. I grazed my fingers across my lips.

"No," I finally managed to say, "don't be. Don't be sorry."

He gripped onto the steering wheel, breathing heavily. His jaws flexed and he looked like he was in dangerously deep thought.

I reached for him, attempting to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away, and I pulled back.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said.

At this point, I was completely and utterly confused. Emotions flew around my head and words crashed into eachother all over again.

I swallowed, took a minute to put my thoughts together, then spoke, "if it's about Leah--"

"It's not about Leah," he responded, "it's something much bigger than that."

"What is it?"

His knuckles became white from gripping the steering wheel so hard, he gazed straight ahead at the school building, not saying a word for minutes.

"Why, Cameron?" I finally summoned up the courage, "why don't you just leave her, if you know you don't feel anything for her?"

"It's not that easy," he replied, still keeping his gaze locked ahead, refusing to turn my way, "I can't hurt her."

I took a breath, trying to settle myself.

"But you can hurt me?" I asked.

He finally looked right at me, his brows creased in a misunderstood manner and his eyes pierced through me.

"Truthfully..." I took a deep breath and swallowed, "I've liked you for a while now. And I mean really liked you. I have done some things to try to get you to notice me. And I'm not proud of all of them. One especially. In fact, you will hate me for it. And I can't explain it to you right now, but I need you to forgive me when you do find out. But it's unfair, knowing what I'm doing is for you, yet knowing I'm striving for no reason. Because you belong to her."

"Stella, what could I possibly hate you for? It's not..." he trailed off and froze, gazing behind me. His electric grey eyes turned to ice.

I turned around, and there, stood Leah.