We make it a few houses down and Jeremy starts talking,
"Luke really defended you in there, huh?" Jeremy asks me.
"I guess. We are friends, you know." I answer him.
"Yeah. I guess you're right, but you love me, right?" he asks.
I don't even know what love is, I've had my first kiss not even 24 hours ago from now but I know it's what he wants to hear.
"Yeah." I tell him.
He grabs my hand and we walk.
"I bet Luke is tearing James a new one. You know, he came over last night and bought some more from my brother.
He was talking to Luke earlier in front of me before you came to join us about how he's changed and he quit. What a fucking liar." Jeremy tells me.
I've noticed that Jeremy can be a bit negative about people. It makes me upset.
"... and Luke! What an idiot! Going back to him like that!" ridiculous.
The bad mouthing of Luke does upset me, but I say nothing. It's his opinion so I feel it's out of place if I say anything to him.
We walk and walk until we hit an apartment complex.
"Want to come up?" he asks me.
"Does your brother live here too?" I asks.
"Yup, he's not that bad, it's just the whole situation with James makes him look like a bad guy. He's an asshole, but still." he says.
I agree to go up and we head up the stairs and when I enter, I see there is one couch and a little coffee but nothing else in the living room of this apartment. No wall decor, no anything else at all. It feels empty.
"How long have you lived here?" I ask.
"Oh, a couple years." Jeremy tells me.
I have another glance at the almost empty room.
"Come to my room!" he grabs my hand and we go off to it.
"So have you had a relationship like this before?" I ask, thinking about his brother saying, 'new boyfriend'.
He sighs and says, "Yes, but that guy was crazy."
"How so?" I ask curiously.
He didn't answer.
We walk into his room and his bed is just a pile of blankets on the floor and a little lamp next to it. There were piles of papers and dirty clothes everywhere.
The door opened abruptly and I tuned around to see Greg.
"I thought I heard someone come in. It's nice to see you brought your boyfriend."
I looked at Jeremy and he rolled his eyes at his brother.
"I want this door open at all times, you hear me?" Greg said, and walked away.
Jeremy waited a few seconds, walked to the door and slammed it. "My brother is an idiot. Do I say anything to him when he brings his girlfriends here? Nah, I let it happen."
He sits on the floor and pats a space next to him.
I go and sit down and right away he starts kissing me. I kind of need it after a day like this, but I feel like I shouldn't since his brother is in the other room.
I don't think the brother is a good guy and I don't feel safe. I continue on anyway and I feel something happening to me. He notices it when we break away and we keep eye contact. He touches me in a place and I feel sick. I push him away and I stand up quick. I walk out the door.
I can't do this. I can't do any of it. I walk out the door and I see his brother on the couch smoking what smelled like pot.
Jeremy comes up behind me and asks "What's wrong?"
I shake my head and head towards the front door.
"What's wrong with your boy toy? Did you make him feel uncomfortable?" Greg laughs.
I can't for the life of me figure out this fucking door that's locked in four places. I fall to the floor and I cry. Jeremy comes and touches my shoulder.
"DON'T TOUCH ME." I yell at him.
"What did I did you do Germ?" Greg said behind.
"Give him some space." he told Jeremy.
I just sat there til I could breathe evenly again and I'm gone.
