The car stops and I look out my hands, I see him and he has a look of concern on his face.
"What happened?" he asked me.
"I got hurt, I'll be okay." I tell him, letting my hands down.
I think I just lied to him.
What am I supposed to tell him? I'm scared? No fucking way. I can't tell him my father did it, even though it is pretty obvious with the way my father was this morning.
He waits for me to change my response, I'm sure. I look outside the car and we aren't at school at all.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"Down the street from my house." he said curtly.
"Now tell me, did you father do this?" he asked.
I don't say a word and we just sit there in silence.
"Is it my fault? The letter? I made sure your mom got it... I made a mistake didn't I?" he asked me.
I turned to him and shook my head,
"No" this is my fault. I'm just a fuck up and I pissed him off."
"That is not true. You're a good person, you don't deserve this at all. I'm taking you out of there and you're moving in with me!" he tells me.
I shake my head.
"I can't do that, It's not my place, James will hate me, and Jeremy wont like that."
"Who cares! This is about your safety and well being!" he tells me.
"Can we just got to school? " I ask.
He says nothing for a moment then starts the car.
We drive to school in silence and when we get there we sit and he says, "You know I care about you, right?"
"I know..." I reply.
We exit the car and we go separate ways. I take a different route to avoid James, and he doesn't argue against it. I meet Jeremy at the entrance, and he gives me a big hug once he saw how I looked.
"What the hell happened? Oh my god! Who did this!? When did...?" he stopped and saw my face and how I didn't want to talk about it.
"I'm here if you want to talk about it..." he whispers.
We walked into our first period holding hands and sit together. Ms Robins is back and she's writing on the board.
She turn to smile at us and her face falls once she sees me.
She looks around the room and walks up to me slowly.
I put my head down and she leans in and asks, "Do you need to talk about this to someone? Are you safe?"
I don't move. She's a very kind teacher and I feel like I could confide in her like a mother, except better since she's not my mother.
"Write it down Andy, I'll keep it safe." she says and walks away.
I spend the entire period writing and not much comes out.
"I don't know how to word this. I don't know why I black out. I don't know what happens to me. I don't want to get hurt any more. I don't want to feel sad anymore. I'm hurt in so many ways. I feel confused. I don't want anything anymore. I just want to lie in a field of grass and flowers and be at peace."
Jeremy sits next to me reading so I felt like I couldn't say it all. Ms Robins would have to report certain things, so I couldn't say it all. I feel like anything I put could incriminate my parents, my dad in particular.
When the period ends she collects it and I start to walk away.
"Andy." she says. I turn and she motions for me to come back in.
I walk back towards her and she hugs me. I hug her back and I try hard not to break down... but I do.
She is there holding me and Jeremy is rubbing my back.
We stand there for a good while until the new class starts flooding in.
We share a look and she knows I have to go.
I walk to P.E. with Jeremy and we don't dress out. Not today. I get looks and question from my PE teacher, but I kept quiet.
We sit together while everyone does laps and activities.
"So, are you going to tell me?" Jeremy asks.
"My dad did it." I tell him.
"He got angry, and I blacked out late, i was lucid for most of the abuse, I think. I remember him hitting my face and saying weird things, then I faded." I remember nothing else after that, except waking up in the middle of the night almost nude and freezing cold."
Jeremy looks at me oddly.
"Andy... do you think he... did something to you?"
I look at Jeremy and I feel a rage.
He can see it in my face and he says, "Sorry, that was stupid to assume."
I know he's just concerned but that is going too far. How could he even think that?! That is so absurd.
I keep building it up and I stand up. "Yeah! That was stupid." I yell at him and walk away.
"I'm sorry Andy! Please come back." I walk off and leave the PE area. I go to the restroom in the A Building and I hide. I hear a deep voice not to long after. "What are you doing in there?" it must be school security .I tell him I'm having digestive problems. He says hurry up and leaves. The period ends and i don't know what to do about anything. I stay in the stall and only exit to wash my face. I feel like such a loser, hiding in a stall.
