I ignored all my texts til I got home.
I get home and as soon as I walk in, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" my dad asks.
"Nothing, I just need time alone."
He starts shouting and I head into my room.
I am in a bad space so I put on some playlist that I usually put on when I am down. I feel like my world is upside down and I can't do shit about it. I look through my texts finally, when I calmed down. Every one of them texted me.
"Come back, please." Jeremy
"I'll find out the truth." James
"You're my best friend, I love you." Jeremy.
I pause at that one and I feel upset I didn't read this sooner.
"I'm sorry about everything, Andy. Forgive me" Luke.
"Need a ride home?" Luke
and the last text,
"Call me, I need you." Jeremy.
I looked through my contacts and find his name, then call.
I should really be alone right now, but... if he needs me, I need to be there for him.
"Hello?"
"Hi" I said.
"How are you?" Jeremy asks.
"To be honest, I'm not great." I tell him.
"Yeah, me either... I need to see you, we need to talk." he says.
I think about it for a second.
"Alright."
"I'll be at your house soon. Give me half an hour?"
"Alright." I say again and we end the call.
I am nervous for what he has to say.
I'm already sweating.
I go outside right away when I receive the text that he's here and as I head towards the door I see him right in front of me. I told him to wait off to the side in case my father comes out.
Oh well. We walk off and he asks if I feel like eating. "Honestly I couldn't eat anything at all right now."
I tell him "Let's just walk." I said.
So we walk until we hit a park and we sit there on this cold and wet wooden bench.
We sit in silence for a time and I just wait.
I am looking at my feet and thinking about today when I hear something. What is that?
I look over at him and he's crying.
"I can't stand this any more." he tells me.
"What happened?" I ask.
"You can't be that clueless Andy. You have to know."
I look at him and his cheeks are pink and I can see his teeth through the odd breathing.
He looks really pretty as he's crying.
I feel something weird again with him and I blush and look away.
"See! What is that?" he asks.
"I don't know." I tell him, still looking away.
"Well, you have to! How do you not know?" he asks.
"It's just funny." I tell him still looking away.
"It's like, a feeling I get in my chest and in my stomach. My face feels funny like I can't even face you right now..." I blurt out.
"Andy, I feel that too with you." he says happily, but still in tears.
"I don't know what to do, I don't have any idea what this means." I say.
"Andy, I love you,." he tells me.
I sit there and don't make eye contact.
What do I do with this information?
I'm too fucking awkward mentally to know what the right thing to do is here.
I look at him and before I say a word, his lips are on mine and stay there.
My first kiss.
He puts his hand on my neck and pushed me in closer.
We break after I pull away just a little.
My face must be red right now, and his is a bit as well.
"Well?" he asked.
My eyes began to water and I bit my lip and looked away.
"This is all very confusing for me, I don't know what to do." I tell him.
"Just feel Andy!" he tells me.
I stand and I cover my face and I look at him through my fingers. He's sitting still with his hand in his lap. He looked so sweet.
"You look like an Angel, I tell him.
He touched his chest and stands and walks towards me.
"Andy..." and he kisses me again.
I let it happen. I give in. I like the way this makes me feel.
I let nothing bother me and we stand there in the park, and it's not even dark yet, but i feel like the worlds light is out and it's only me and him.
