Salvation {Negan FanFic}

F I F T Y F O U R ever after

We just sat there for what seemed like forever. I just waited to see if he was going to say anything. I thought he wasn't, knowing he was most likely pissed.

"This is it..." He sighed. I looked at him, feeling tears blur my vision. "Once you step out of this truck, never again will I treat you any different from anyone else...This. is. it." He said, meeting my eyes.

I looked to the gates of Alexandria that the headlights of the truck were shinning on. I then looked back to him, seeing for the first time sympathy in his eyes, and real sadness. I didn't want to leave this truck.

"You won't be welcomed back...you won't be protected from my men in those gates. I won't be there to run to you to save your ass if anything happens. If you ever need me, I can't be there, Kit-Kat." He started to raise his voice, it cracking a little. He looked away from me, putting his face in his hands, sniffling a little.

Is...he crying?

"You know, I have spent a lot of time on you...I have thrown a lot away too. I have done so fucking much for you- I have lost so much for you, and now you're running away? You made me fucking say I love you!" He shouted, making jump. "I don't even now why you would want to g back with those fucking crazy pricks! they're killers they aren't safe!"

I was shaking with sadness. "I didn't make you do anything Negan. You made me stay with you. I didn't have an option." I said. "I'm more safe with them then I am with you!"

"I didn't want to say I fucking love you! I just wanted you around first of all for a good fuck but you didn't let that happen! You made me feel shit I didn't want to feel!"

He paused. shaking his head. We were arguing several arguments at the same time.

"I saved you from them by keeping you with me. You should want to stay with me- I'm your fucking salvation."

"Salvation?- Negan, are you joking? Stop acting like you're the victim here! you took me, hurt me emotionally and physically, and then expected me to want to stay with you and live happily ever after? Sorry, but this might be the one time something doesn't go right in your book...I'm choosing now." I cried out.

He looked at me with an expression that was sadness mixed with anger. I looked back at him, my tears and sniffling the only sound filling the night.

"Then get out." He said through clenched teeth.

I didn't move, still not ready to move.

"Get the fuck out of the truck!"

I forced myself to unbuckle the seatbelt before I could let myself say thing else. Before I went to go open the door, he grabbed my shoulder, pulling me into his arms, hugging me so tightly. I couldn't hug him back since my arms were tucked between our bodies. He put his face into my hair, just holding me there. I feel like he has never just hugged me. No smart comment, no force, I don't even have to hug back.

"I will miss you." He said into my ear.

I pulled away gently, not saying anything else. I parted my lips, about to lean in and kiss him, but I stopped myself before I could, knowing it would make me want to stay.

I forced myself to open the open the door of the truck and jump out. I turned around once I was out of the truck, and looked at him. He just turned the keys, looking away from me. I slammed the door shut, not even giving me a second to step back he backed the truck up with  a screech. And he was gone.

I watched him drive off in his normal reckless way. I then slowly turned to look to the gates. It pained me to start walking to it, but gave me a feeling of satisfaction. I stopped once at the gate looking up at it. I fell to my knees, putting my face in my hands and let out all my tears. The gates slowly started to open, people with flashlights came running out. I didn't stop crying as they helped me to my feet. It was two people I didn't recognize and Rick. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him, putting his had on the back of my head to pull me into him.

I think I was home.