Salvation {Negan FanFic}

F O R T Y T W O

"So, I'll make sure to keep my distance, say I love you when your not listening, how long till we call this love?"  (Distance -Christina Perri)

Warning: This does get kind of smutty, so read at your own risk

I was crazy overwhelmed. I was about to just put a bullet through his head, and now we are taking our clothes off. To be quite honest, I forgot all about that. My mind was filled with lust, my other thoughts being thrown right away.

He had taken the towel that was around his waist off, taking my jeans off even though I was having second thoughts about this. Hell, all I was dong was trying to distract him by kissing him...well, it worked.

He started to kiss up my neck, on my jawline, and found their way to my lips again. While one hand was on my breast, his other wandered down in between my legs, rubbing my clit through my panties. I couldn't help but let out a soft moan from his touch, which made him chuckle. He then hooked his thumbs under the waistline of my panties, starting to slip them off. He did so, tossing them aside, his hand rubbing me again. His lips went to my neck, starting to suck on it harshly.

I was completely caught off guard when I felt him enter me. I was expecting a little more foreplay, or something, but nope.

I let out a small whimper, and gripped his shoulder as he pushed deeper into me. He moved in and out of me, not giving me a second to breath. It was a terrible mix of pleasure and pain. My nails dug into his back, trying to suppress my whimpers, biting my lip. His lips traveled from my lips back to y neck again, sucking.

~~~

I laid there, now in one of Negan's shirts and in his arms. I had complained about not wanting to sleep naked, so he just threw a shirt at me. I was wide awake while he was deep in sleep. It had to be at least five in the morning. I had slept a little, but not much. I kept waking up in cold sweats, not being able to go back to sleep for hours, so I just laid there with my eyes open, staring into the darkness, listening to Negan's slow breaths falling onto my neck. I looked down at the gun that had been in the same place where I dropped it. I felt a lump in my throat, knowing I needed to do it before it was too late.

I sighed, taking a few deep breaths before starting to carefully and slowly untangling my body from Negan's. He simply pulled the covers over himself and rolled over to the other side of the bed. I sat on the edge, looking at the gun at my feet.

I wasn't a killer...I mean, these days you don't have a choice. But I don't like to kill unless I have to. I don't have to. I can stay here with Negan and forget about all of them and moe on. But that wouldn't be right. They are my family and they come first.

I stood up and with a shaky hand I picked up the gun. I checked to see how many rounds I have in it even though I never used it before. I then looked at it for a moment before holding it up, pulling back the trigger. It must have woke Negan up, because he shot up, grabbing Lucille from where it was at  his bedside, and held it up. His expression dropped when he looked at the gun and then me.

I felt my hand go cold, and my head start to spin. Negan looked me in the eyes, looking defeated for the first time. I fingered the trigger-

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