"I love you too." he faced was only something I could explain as full of raw emotion.
"Dammit I love you Ella." he repeated it again. He smiled gleefully.
The tension in the room had changed.
It changed to something good. Something that felt free. As if in that moment I could say anything. As if I had the full power of freedom in my hands.
"Then I repeat, Tyler what are we?" I questioned.
This moment of freedom, this relief, this power. I have never felt anything like it. This wall that has been broken is something new.
But honeslty, what were we?
Two friends in love? Two people that connected over damaged parts of eachother in hopes to make them new again? Two people trying to be happy, and finding happiness in eachother? Two people afraid, afraid to make the wrong call, afraid to push too deep and lose everything, because we've both been there before?
He didn't answer.
He didn't answer.
He didn't answer.
He didn't fucking answer my question.
He looked at me with big brown eyes, those eyes I could get lost in. His face went pale. His body stiffened. His lips straightened into a line, pressing them together. As if they were a wall, holding back a damn full of words to pour out.
What is he doing?
Why does it hurt so bad?
One minute he says he's loves me, and the next he doesn't even understand the question I ask him. A question I had been waiting to ask him.
"What do you want this to be?"
My heart sank.
I can't even think right now.
He said that as if he was scared. As if he was lost. As if he was afraid to make the wrong call. He was afraid of something.
"What do you mean? Tyler I wanna be with you." I said slowly. I moved closer to him. My heart was beating rapidly in the heat of all this because one minute I was so sure we wanted nothing more than to be with eachother, but now I'm afraid he's gonna up and leave.
"Okay listen. " he said sternly.
Oh shit. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Okay Ella is now in full panic mode.
"Uh-this is gonna be hard to explain..." he let those words drag on, and made a face as if to conjure up what he wanted to say next.
"Um, what are we? Good question. We are a lot of things, and I want you to know that." he said still acting unsure of what to say next.
Okay, I wanted to cry. The way he was making this sound was as if saying "Hey I love you but you're crazy if you think we are gonna be in a relationship so stop asking."
I wanted to leave.
Like I always fucking do.
I walk away from my problems. Like if I don't see them they aren't real. I'm too much of a coward to face anything.
He saw how hurt I was an grabbed my hand and said "No Ella, listen. We are a lot of things. You are a lot of things. Good things." he smiled softly.
Him holding my hand did make things a little better.
But my heart still hurt.
"Amazing things. I wanna be with you. From day one I wanted you as something I could call mine. But what I'm tryna say is, uh- " he was still trying to think.
"You are so much more than just a girlfriend to me. You are my person. My bestfriend. My keep safe. My haven. I want you to understand that. I was so scared to just ask you 'hey wanna be my girlfriend' because that's not all you are to me Ella. You are Oh Mrs. Believer. You are Ella-Bo-Bella. You are beautiful. You are mine. You are my girlfriend. You are my band-aid."
(Short and simple because I really wanted to write but im tired lol. I will try to update as soon as I can. How'd you guys like the chapter? I love you all!!!)
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Enjoy Today (Twenty one Pilots)
FanfictionElla suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She has struggled with it her entire life. But it was almost as if she had a cure. Her dad. But after her dad suffered a massive heart attack and passes away she feels as if she has no one. Her mom fo...
