Torn between two (A supernatural fan fiction)

Chapter 13: A Brothers Battle

"You guys were gone awhile" Sam says as we walk through the door, eyeing the bag in my hands.

Dean ignores him and puts his 6 pack on the table and opens one up without hesitation. I smile softly towards the younger brother "needed to grab a few things" I lift the bag just a little for him to see. He nods back to me with a soft smile as well and I start to pull the stuff out of the bag.

When I return to their room, Dean and Sam are arguing over something "we can't just go after this thing half cocked!" Dean yells at his younger brother, his first beer already almost finished.

"We're not going in half cocked Dean, we know what she is and we know how to kill it!" He replies back calmly, he must be used to his anger.

"What are you guys going after?" I question sitting down across from Sam. Dean offers me a beer but I decline, opting for a bottle of water instead.

Sam sighs "the demon that wants you" he tells me.

"You know how to kill it?" I push further. I didn't know that earlier and wish they had told me before I stained my skin for life with an anti-possession tattoo.

Dean replies first "No. We think we know how to kill it. After all the attempts with Crowley, and he's still around."

"Crowley isn't you're average demon, Dean. He's more powerful. This demon isn't at that point yet, not without Emma. We need to kill her before she gets stronger, before she attacks her again" Sam tries to explain "what we've done in the past with Crowley will work on her."

Dean goes to argue but I step in before he can "don't I have a say in this?" I question. I'm annoyed they keep having these discussions without me. They may know everything about demons and ghosts but this is someone whose after me, and that's something I've been dealing with for a long time now.

"No" Dean retorts at the same time Sam says "of course."

I give Dean a sideways glares but proceed "staying in hiding is great and all, but I'm hiding from 2 different things right now. I'm so sick of hiding and sick of running. If we can take care of it now, we should." I finally agree with Sam and he nods graciously.

"We don't even know anything about this demon! And you.." Dean gestures to me "don't know anything about hunting one!" His voice is low with frustration "you'll get yourself killed" he adds.

"You guys can teach me.. Look, I'm not saying it has to be tomorrow.." I trail off.

"Fine! But you have to be willing to do whatever it takes." Dean insists "they take meat suits and sometimes their hosts won't be able to make it because of something you did."

"Dean." Sam urges him to stop. I look at him and he's shaking his head.

"No, it's fine Sam" I assure standing up "so what you're saying Dean, is that if that demon took a hold of me without you guys knowing me sooner, you'd "do whatever it took" to kill it?" I put my hands on my hips, waiting for his snarky return.

I can tell he's thrown by what I said and he stands up to storm out of the room "yea, maybe I would've" I hear him mutter under his breath as we walks past me.

I place myself back into a chair across from Sam and put my head down on the table with my arms stretched forward "I couldn't hurt somebody" I say with my head still down.

"It's not easy.." Sam responds to me softly.

"No, I mean I can't.." I lift my head up just a bit, resting my chin on the table "I had the opportunity to defend myself against Rick, to end all the pain. But I couldn't do it.." I confide to him.

"Well, he wasn't a demon." Sam tries to justify the reasoning for me.

I sigh "might as well have been. Probably would've been safer with one too." I say back, lowering my head back down onto the table.

I feel a large warm hand wrap around mine. Sam's palm enclosing my entire hand and his fingers curled underneath "you'll be safe here" he says kindly to me with a soft squeeze.

I tilt my head, my left cheek now on the table. I glance at him "thanks Sam" I smile.

"You wanna learn to hunt?" He asks, slowly releasing his hand and bringing it back to his lap.

"I don't want to be defenseless anymore." I lift my head into my hands now as I'm being honest with him "and I don't just want to sit on my ass while this demon tries to take over my life."

Sam nods showing me he understands what I'm saying "we won't let that happen." He assures me again. He coughs, adjusting his voice "I won't let that happen" he says this time.

I excuse myself from the table and make my way back to my room. I sit down on the bed and wonder. Just a little while ago I had a moment with Dean, and just now there was a moment with Sam. "What the hell am I doing?" I ask myself. These two men are nothing a like, yet I'm finding myself having feelings for each of them. I try and think of a way out of it, a way to stop myself from feeling. I'm not ready for something yet, I'm still dealing with Rick and what has happened to my life since I've been with him. It wouldn't be fair to put that onto someone like Sam or Dean. Although I try to tell myself that it wouldn't be fair, I'm reminded of the type of life they live. The things they see, the things they do, would my life in addition to theres really make things any worse off for them?