Everlasting Nyctophobia

4.1K 106 32
                                    

  There are two types of darkness, the kind that makes our street look like a vintage black and white photograph and the other where it robs you of your best senses and replaces it with fear. That particular fear was what grew rapidly while only gazing into the darkness ahead of me. The alley was pitch black; nothing but the light coming from my flashlight was a source of warmth. After noticing that I haven't got any eggs with me yesterday for the apple pie, I threw my jacket on and stormed out, thinking of a shortcut to get to my destination faster and remembered the alleyway that gets me where I wanted to go exactly.

Nyctophobia; a common fear I wish I didn't have. It makes me feel like a six-year-old little girl too afraid of sleeping without a small night lamp. The symptoms are what is more disturbing than the fear itself. Hot and cold flashes rushing through your blood, heart racing so fast you feel your head go light, the shaking trembling sensation at the tip of your fingers and the sweaty palms, the strange feeling of someone staring at you and following you to harm you. You are rendered powerless over your fear; you lose control and detach yourself from the real world and drown into one full of monsters.
Taking a deep breath and trying to stay logical, I turned my flashlight on, placed one foot in front of the other, and marched head-on into the alley. Darkness pressing in, my imagination supplied many beasts with fantastical jaws to lurk beyond the range of my vision.
"There is nothing there, Beauty." I kept repeating to myself, hoping I would be convinced, calculating how far the end of this nightmare was. In reality, the exit was getting closer with each step, but my mind played tricks on me. The closer I got, the farther it seemed to be, like an oasis in a desert for someone dying of thirst.
Light, finally. Looking back, I was sure that I did it. I saw the alley that seemed like an endless corridor of monsters behind me rendered to a standard path to my destination. I giggled and gave myself a 'good job' pat on the back.
After buying the eggs, I stepped out of the supermarket and froze in place for a while. I stared into thin air, replaying yesterday's scenario in my head, smiling slightly. It makes my heart flutter and my cheeks red. That dark tousled hair, those beautiful blue eyes, that stunning face, all came rushing to me. Wishing I could relive that moment and make other decisions have a chance to not make a fool of myself.
Checking the streets for any sign of him and finding none, I make my way back home. It was time to face the darkness again, but this time with a lighter heart since I managed to conquer it moments ago. Flashlight in hand, I lit my way.
It was a joy feeling the strength of conquering my fear. My heart wouldn't beat of terror but from excitement. I had a great accomplishment to talk about when I get back home. Until; midway, the flashlight turned off, removing my only source of warmth to help me cross over. Panic took over again, and it was back to point zero. I felt the urge to scream for help, but how stupid would that make me look? Engulfed in darkness, I tried calming myself as if I was my therapist. ''You're almost there, come on". However, my legs refused to move. This fear is my challenge and my demon to slay, for it will come until I do, unannounced and gnarly. The only way out is to order this brain to demand solutions instead of this loop of anxiety.
It was complete silence, but the sound of my heavy heart pounding was like a drum audible to others. The alley should be empty, but echoing behind me are footsteps. Each footstep rings like a church bell on a Sunday morning. I was trying to understand if this sound was just a play of my imagination or reality. Although afraid, I looked over my shoulder and saw two dark figures making their way to me.
Company or enemy? It was a difficult question to answer in my state.
"Calm down Beauty; they are just passing by."

"Why are you standing in the dark? Are you lost?". A voice from behind me asked.
I looked at the person talking and tried to examine him and the person next to him. One was taller than the other; it was hard to see their faces due to how dark it was. The relieving part was; they were actual people and not a manifestation of my imagination.
"Err... No, thank you. I was trying to fix my light."
"You look frightened. We can escort you if you want." The tall one said to me.
"Yeah, I wouldn't let a princess like you walk alone." The other added, taking a few steps towards me. "I can be your night in shiny armor if you want."
"No, I would very much like to be left alone now." I turned my back to them and hurried away from them. One foot after the other, I began distancing myself from them until a sudden hand tightened it's grip on my wrist and pulled me back.
"Where do you think you're going? We can't leave you going on your own like that; someone might hurt that pretty face of yours." His finger slid down my cheek as he talked. I threw his arm off of me and tried to flee, but he slammed his hand on the wall behind me, locking me between him and his culprit.
"That's not a nice way to treat the people trying to help you; you're mean and need some disciplining." The tall one said.
"We can turn you from a bad girl to a nice girl!" The short one added.
Escaping their grip was a failure; I tried screaming for help but was silenced by a heavy blow to my face as his hand cracked across it, snapping my head back due to the force. Black dots manifested on my now blurry vision, the sound of a high pitched whistle was drilling in my ear where I received the hit. I didn't lose conscience, but it was hard keeping focus on what was happening around me. I could faintly hear them talking, saying what they plan on doing with me.
"Get up Beauty, do something about this, try to run, try screaming again." My inner voice screamed at me, fruitlessly.
The tight grip on my wrist turned lighter and disappeared. The black dots began withdrawing, and I regained balance and was fully aware of my surroundings.
They seemed lifeless on the floor, thrown a few feet away from me. They didn't budge, didn't move, didn't make a sound.
What happened to them? How long was I confused?
"Are you alright?" A familiar voice asked, and a hand lightly touched my shoulder.
I daren't move; I daren't breathe; I froze in place. The warmth of the hand seeped into my being. The hairs on my arms stood as militias of chills marched down my spine.
I turned around and blessed my eyes with the sight. It was just like a deja vu but with another scenario. Suddenly darkness vanished, and I drowned in those ocean blue eyes.
I choked on my own words, trying to pick the correct ones not to make a fool of myself as I answered. Sadly the only words that I was able to say were:
"I'm... okay."

FullMetal Alchemist Falling in love with EnvyWhere stories live. Discover now