Feeling lost. Chapter 9

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[Edited]

Disclaimer: I do not own the image above and have only done basic editing.

"You took a long time to get ready today, Shinju." Reiji looks up at me and I simply rub my head, still quite exhausted, before gazing up at everyone in the dining room.

"Yeah, I- uh, overslept." I wave my head to dismiss the topic quickly and sit between Kou and Azusa quietly.

"What's wrong?" I turn to my right to see Kou leaning over the table slightly to gaze at my fatigued expression with concern. I simply shake my head in response as I attempt the best smile I could muster at the moment, only for it to look like I was on the verge of crying.

"You sure?" Ayato asks, who was sitting across me and I nod again, not feeling the need to speak. After a while of silence, I sigh and feel a slight nudge on my knee. I look up in confusion to see Ayato tilting his head and furrowing his eyebrows to question my behaviour. I mouth the words "just tired" and smile at him before looking down at my plate. It was clear he wasn't satisfied with my answer, which was justified by his pout after I answered him.

What if Yui's warning really was true? How was she even able to take control of my mind? I know I was vulnerable in my sleep, but for a simple mortal to take control of my mind... That's not a usual occurrence. Either way, I can't take any risks. I need to steer clear of my brothers, just in case. If I am the cause of their potential harm, then that's the best thing to-

"Shinju!" I snap out of my dazed state and flinch at the loud noise as I look up with wide eyes to stare at Ayato and Kou, who were waving their hands in front of me. I shake the thoughts out of my head and exhale in shock before finally looking at all of my brothers' confused expressions.

"Y-yes? You were saying something?" I scratch my head and turn back to them as Kanato clears his throat, indicating he was the one speaking.

"Well, yes, I was suggesting we could have some kind of outing together. I know it's weird for me to say it, but since we all seem to be extremely tense for some reason, I think that would be the best choice for now. What do you think?" Kanato tilts his head as he looks at me for my approval. I look at Yui briefly before turning back to him with a small smile.

"Sure, why not? Go right ahead!" I tighten my lips together and glance at Yui once more before continuing with regret. "But, I won't be able to join you." My eyes portray any guilt I am feeling as Kanato's confused gaze shifts to me.

"Wait, why not? I thought you loved these kinds of things." He tilts his head and I fix my gaze at the ground in reluctance to answer his question.

"It's not a matter of me liking them. I just have a lot of schoolwork to do." I rub the back of my neck and look away as I feel more eyes fixed on me.

"Really, now? Is that all it is? Schoolwork?" I turn my head to look at Shu as he places his cutlery on the plate and props up his elbow on the table, supporting his head with his palm under his chin. His nonchalant gaze forces me to stir slightly in my seat but I disguise it as me simply turning to face Shu properly.

"Why would you think I'm lying about it?" I lick my bottom lip out of nervousness as I stare directly into Shu's eyes, attempting to show as much confidence as I can fake. When he doesn't reply and simply waits for my next move along with the others, I harden my gaze at him subtly before getting up. "Well, I'll be waiting for everyone in the hall so we can get to school on time, yes?" I tightly smile at everyone and grab my plate but am interrupted when Ruki leans forward, indicating he is planning to join the conversation.

"You can't expect us to believe that." He shakes his head and I stare at him with wide eyes, not expecting him to go against me. I open my mouth to argue but all I can manage is a breathy chuckle of astonishment. I shake my head and release another chuckle, unwilling to continue the conversation.

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