dinner || tronnor

15

troye's pov

I can't say this has been bad but I wouldn't go as far as good. I've been left alone for the most part and was able to opt my way out of arts and crafts. I really liked one of the nurses named Louise. She's particularly good at making me smile with her bubbley personality.

I've stayed in my designated room reading books and eating jello. I take medicine for anxiety here, which is something I've never done before but the doctor said he was going to talk to my mom about keeping me on it even after I get out of here. Which is only five days, by the way. Five days and I can see my mom and dad again. Sage, Tyde and maybe even Steele if he's in town. Jagga, too. And Connor.

He's on my mind around eighty percent of the time. I hope he's okay and that his mom is coming home more often. Maybe he will have made some friends while I was gone.

Speaking of friends, I hate to admit it but I think I've made one at the hospital. Her name is Ingrid and she has Anorexia, like me. She helped me come to terms with it and actually say the word out loud. I've only said it once. She tells me that no matter how long it takes me to get better, it will happen and when it does she wants me to eat a big burger.

She has been in the hospital for a month now and isn't getting much better. Her genetics just aren't compatible to food and nutrition. She told me that the doctors said they don't know how long it will be before her body breaks down because of the lack of nutrition. I told her that things would even out and she would be fine but that was a lie because I have no idea what might happen to her or even if she can get better at all. I hoped I would see her again after I get out. Maybe they'll let me visit.

I've been reading lots of books that Louise has brought me. Some of her favorites, she says. I also play checkers with her sometimes.

My least favorite part of being in this place is the dinner. You have to come out and eat with everyone and really I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass, but a bunch of people with eating disorders eating together? Are you kidding me?

It's actually kinda funny because we all take so long to eat. The nurses sometimes set a timer on us. Ingrid and I always laugh at that because it seems ironic to us.

I also hate showering because it's just like the school locker rooms with small showers and tiny stalls and I always feel so uncomfortable. No one really seems to care about what others look or act like here, though. They're only concerned about getting out.

Today, Ingrid and I are attempting to finish our word search book that we stared a few days ago. We're almost done with it.

We sit outside and listen to some kind of classical music because that's all they put on here. Once I had a crazy thought to run into the office and blast Nicki Minaj or something. I told Ingrid about that and she laughed so hard that she started crying. It felt nice to be the reason someone felt happy, even for just a moment.

When we are looking for one word, catastrophic to be exact, Ingrid asks me a question.

"What's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out?"

My mind rushed to Connor and I saw his face behind my eyelids. His rough jaw line and sparkling eyes. I tried not to picture him because it only made me excited to get out of here.

"I'll go to Connors house."

"And what if he's different?" Ingrid knows all about Connor and claims she is a relationship expert.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you said that he only started to act happy when you were around, so what if he is sad again when you come back?"

"Then I'll have to re-happify him. Duh, Ingrid."

She laughs and chuckles an okay. But for the rest of the night I can't stop thinking about her question. What if Con is different when I come home? What if he is even more depressed?

I try to push it back because I know that I shouldn't worry unless I have to. Connor is fine and will be when I come back, as well.

I hope Sage has kept her word about keeping Connor company. I know she might be annoying at times, but I need someone to be there for Connor. Sage is really nice and understanding so I think she would be good for him right now.

One thing I often think about is when Sage and I were younger and she could always make me smile when I was feeling down. She would turn on music and dance around until I joined her and then we would do something stupid like choreograph a dance to some Britney Spears song and perform it for the family. After that, I wouldn't even remember what I was sad about in the first place.

That night, as I'm falling asleep and listening to my roommates snores, I picture Sage and Connor dancing and him laughing and happily singing along.

I hope that I'm not just dreaming.

~

In the morning, Louise comes to me with my pills. At first, they made my stomach feel weird and I got dizzy when I stood up. I'm fine now, though, and I've even noticed that my heart has started beating softer. I'm also not as scared to eat.

I swallow them easily and Louise lingers in my room.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Oh, sorry. I just admire you, Troye. You've come here on you're own and are getting better for the people you care about. I hope you know that there are so many people that could never do the same thing."

"Thanks, Louise."

"Yeah," she says quietly and walks out.

That was kind of weird, but it felt nice to hear. I have four more days. I will be out of here and back with Connor and my family.

I simply cannot wait.

A. N.
guys I have noticed so many more people reading and voting. thanks so so so much !!! keep doing what you're doin and give me feedback.

thank you all so much for reading and adding my story to your libraries.

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