dinner || tronnor

7

troye's pov

Connor Franta was like a hurricane to my head. I couldn't even begin to describe the way I felt around him. It almost hurt me to not let out everything I had wanted to say that night at his house.

Why wouldn't he talk about his life in Minnesota?

Why was he so quiet about his parents?

What is he like when no one's around. Is he as happy as he pretends to be?

I suppose these are personal questions and I should simply accept the fact that some things are private and I shouldn't pride myself in thinking that I am special enough for him to trust with the answers. It is not my territory.

I noticed when I was over at his house that his mother never came home that night, or at least while I was there and I stayed pretty late. Nothing at their house was personal whereas I couldn't stop my mother from framing every school photo and taking pictures at every minor event. Connor seems very private and he seems fine with being unnoticed. I know his mother is a doctor and that can be busy but I wonder how much time she's actually spent with Connor since they moved here. I wonder what it was like before.

Often times I think about how Connor looks. I've never been a person to judge based on looks, therefore I needed to know Connor before I decided that I had a crush on him. Because a sure fire way to get your heart broken is to fall in love with a jerk/sociopath. Not that I plan on falling in love.

That's why I sent him that dumb letter in the first place. He seemed like a magnet to me. First, pulling me in with his features and then electrifying me with his mind. I would never have thought that a boy so perfect on the outside could have so many secrets and insecurities on the inside. I knew he had so many secrets and I knew that I would find them all out one day. I hoped that when that day came that I would be ready and there and he would let me comfort him with no hesitation.

I've had quite a few crushes before Connor came to town but this feels so perfect. Obviously, there are gay kids at my school and in the community but I'd never really interacted with them because I hate to categorize myself that way. He just feels different. He's very soft and new and I feel like he's never even kissed anyone before. Just thinking about touching his lips with mine makes me breathe a little harder and a lot faster. I don't even know if he's gay!... but I'm pretty sure he is.

Now, as I think about this beautiful boy, I lay in bed two days after Friday night with Connor. My mom made me eat last night because she saw me stop at my door frame to let the dizziness pass. I know she knows but she can't bare to bring it up. She doesn't understand.

I felt so gross after I ate but I knew that I'd pass out if I didn't put something in my stomach. This morning, I woke up to the snarls of my belly asking for food. I was used to that.

I was really bored at the moment so I decided to text Connor.

Me: hey

I sat there for a few minutes. I was definently not staring at my phone waiting...

Con: hey troye boy

Me: what are you up to?

Con: just made dinner for my mom. she's supposed to be home soon.

I was kind of surprised that he was the one who made dinner at his house. I understand that his mom is very busy but he seems like he has responcibilities that most high schoolers shouldn't have to deal with themselves.