dinner || tronnor

13

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troye's pov

It finally hits me that I'm going to a hospital the morning that I leave. The first thing I do that morning is call the florists, making sure they have my order correct for Connor and that it was to be delivered tomorrow. I wanted him to feel like I was still there, even though I'll be two hours away. I go to sages room and we have a brief conversation because she can't stop crying and I can't be around that many emotions for too long.

"Sage, stop crying. It's only two weeks. You never even talk to me anyway."

"I know, Troye. I'm so sorry, I never even realized it had gotten this bad. I should have known."

"Sage, honestly I don't care. I just need to ask a favor of you."

"Yeah, T. Anything." Not gonna lie I'm kinda pissed that she's only saying this out of pity and feeling bad for herself. As if she could stop me from starving myself? Right.

"Can you just, you know, check on Connor for me while I'm gone? I worry about him being alone all the time. His mom is always working and I just don't want him to be sad. Maybe ask him to come over and hang out? You'd really like him."

"Yeah, of course. Maybe we'll be friends!" What have I done? I hope he doesn't hate me for this. I smile thinking about coming back and hearing him gripe about my sister giving him a make over or plucking his eyebrows or something.

"Cool beans, thanks. Don't feel bad for me or anything okay? I need this. I'm serious."

We hug and say goodbye and come out to the living room together, where my bag and family are waiting. My mother is already crying, my dad looks sad and Tyde and Steele just give me sad smiles. This is such a downer.

"Guys! Chill out. I'm fine, it's just two weeks."

They let out their "we love you's" and I say it back trying not to gag on how cheesy this is. Honestly, I don't feel like this is such a big deal. My mom and I walk out to the car and put my bag of clothes in the trunk. When I get in the passenger seat and buckle my seat belt, I glance and see Connor running down the side walk.

"Oh my god, he isn't," I whisper to myself and get of the car.

"Hey," he says, out of breath. He leans down and grabs his knees, taking deep breaths.

"Con, why are you here? We already said goodbye!" I laugh and throw my arms around him.

"No we didn't. And we aren't going to either." He had a thing about saying goodbye.

"So what are you doing here, then?"

"I just wanted to see you again, you know, before you left."

"Well isn't that sweet?"

"Yeah, I mean, I would say so," he laughs and pulls me into another hug while I roll my eyes. We stand there for as long as we can before my mom calls out that we need to leave. I know she's glad to see me showing feelings for someone. Connor pulls away first, kissing my forehead.

"See you in two weeks, T."

"See you," I whisper and squeeze his hand, only noticing then that I was still holding it. I walk to the car and my mom smiles at me. I get ready for her comments.

"I really like him. He seems to make your smile bigger better than I can."

"Oh, mum, don't say that! You're making me feel bad!"

She just smiles and we pull put of the driveway, passing Connor. I blow him a kiss, playfully, and he pretends to catch it and put it on his heart. My mother makes a gagging action and I slap her arm lightly and she laughs. I love that sound.

It takes a long time to get to the hospital, which is particularly for teens with...eating problems. I was kind of nervous because I didn't really want any of them to, like, come up to me and try to talk about shit. I'm not much of a social butterfly at all. I'm more of a caterpillar larva at this point of my life. That's gross, I'll stop. But really, I didn't want to talk to them. I just wanted to get there, eat what they tell me to eat and get out. I've read about activity days and shit with arts and crafts but I'm not in this so I can show off my little to none artistic ability. I'm just going to get better for the people around me.

Now that I think about it, not eating is so stupid. Of course, my fears will never stop and maybe I'll have trouble eating my entire life but the thought of starving to the point of death makes me wonder what I was thinking these past few years. Wouldn't you rather be chubby and alive than stick thin and taking a dirt nap? Because I would.

I know that saying this now isn't really going to help me when I get in front of a plate of food. That's when the real anxiety hits and my stomach literally feels like it's shutting the door on food. When I see food I think of pinching the layer of fat I used to have on my stomach as a preteen and how much I hated it. When I see food I think of myself and what I would look like if I ate it and I panic. My throat closes and my body protests. It's not that I don't want to eat this food it's just that my body rejects the thought of it. It takes a lot for me to over come it and take a bite. I think about this all the way to our destination, shitty radio music in the background. My mom starts crying again when we pull in the parking lot.

"Mum, please. I'm going to be fine. I will come back and I won't have bags under my eyes, I won't just stare at your wonderful cooking anymore. I'll actually eat it, I promise. You can even make me some pancakes!" This just makes her laugh through her tears.

"Honey, I know this is hard for you but just think about us in there. I love you so much, please don't forget that."

"How could I ever?"

We walk into the lobby and check in. A man in white nurses clothing comes and picks up my bag, telling me to follow him when I'm ready. My mom and I hug for what seems like forever and I end up shedding a small tear which makes her cry even more. She kisses my whole face and finally lets me walk away with the nurse guy. I blow her a kiss and she does the same thing that Connor did, mocking me a little. I walk away down the hallway with the nurse.

I'm doing this for me, I remind myself. I'm doing this for my mom.

I'm doing this for him.

A.N.

K holy smokes we almost have 1,000 reads so thanks so much lol.

does anyone say holy smokes?

like comment share follow whatever.

I listened to Mind Of Mine by ZAYN & Troye's sweet stuff playlist on spotify while writing this chapter.

thanks for everything.