dinner || tronnor

9

troye's pov

It amazed me profoundly that my life had changed so immensely within the past few weeks. Connor had arrived to my boring school and dazzled me with his beauty and his mind. His mind.... I couldn't escape it! It was like his words floated around my head reminding me of just how incredible he was. How could I have been missing this for nearly 18 years of my life?

I felt as though Connor was a separate part of me already. We had gotten closer over the short days we spent together, especially after we had kissed at the park that day. We hadn't kissed again though, not really. He had pecked me on the cheek one afternoon as we separated to go home from the park. I suppose we both felt that we didn't want to rush into anything too quickly even though we could see in eachothers eyes that we felt the same strong emotions.

Today is Sunday and my family has been cooking and baking and grilling things all day. I had mentioned yesterday that I might have a boy over today and they freaked out big time. I felt sick walking through my house. The kitchen was enveloped in food and there was nowhere I could go to escape it. Not even outside, where smoke from the grill drifted in the air.

I felt as though my family knew that they could force me to eat today sense there would be plenty of food around and Connor would be there and wonder why I wasn't eating. They knew that I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me so they have prepared this meal so that I would eat it and act normal. Probably because they were embarrassed that their son could barely fit his size 0 pants.

When we sat down to eat tonight I would eat. I made a vow to myself last night that I would. I knew that Connor would get upset if I wasn't eating, he occasionally made comments about it when we were together. I would only do it for him and then I would throw up. Whatever happens I will not let that food settle before I can get it out.

For now, I try not to think about the aromas around me and clean my room again. I already cleaned it last night but I felt the need to touch everything one more time in order to give myself the satisfaction of doing something with my time.

It was now 2 o'clock so I decide to get in the shower. I wash quickly and hop out letting my hair dry naturally and washing my face. I then apply some of my mothers concealer that I stole a couple months ago to hide my terrible dark circles. I throw on a loose gray t shirt and some jeans with rips in the knees. I felt okay. Cute, even. I looked at myself in the mirror and put a smile on my face. Then I tried a couple more happy looking faces and realized that I will never look like a normal person. A happy person.

I spent the rest of my time waiting for Connor by sitting on the couch and staring at the tv. It wasn't turned on, but I examined it and then everything else inside the room. Finally, the doorbell rang and I thought I got up in time to beat my mother to the door but I was wrong.

"Hello dear! You must be Connor! Troye has been waiting anxiously for you all day!"

I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. My heart has started beating very, very fast.

"Yes ma'am," Connor laughs.

"Oh please! You can call me Laurelle!"

At this point I had come over to where they were standing and stepped in front of my mother and interrupted her babbling.

"Mom, we're going to take a walk okay? We'll be back soon," I say to my mother, though I can't take my eyes off of Connor. He is stunning in the sunlight.