Yours [Prim/Cato]

Chapter 59 - Again

Eight and a Half Months

I went back to District 12 yesterday for the 75th Hunger Games reaping, almost 9 months pregnant and thousands of miles away from Cato. I had to be there for the reaping, but I regretted coming back the moment I stepped off the train. Everyone's eyes were glued to my belly, which was now extremely hard to hide and even harder to ignore. They couldn't quite believe that sweet little Primrose was having a baby, and so young. Everyone wanted to touch me, everyone had questions, and I wasn't in the mood for any of it. The baby was coming soon; my doctor set my due date to two weeks from today. The Games start in 4 days, and will most likely be over before my due date. I'm grateful for that because then Cato will be there and not so worried about the Games.

It's all he thinks about nowadays. His focus has shifted from me to freaking out about making sure this was the best Games yet. Of course he worried about the baby, but as soon as he knows she's okay, he's back in his own world. This year's special 75th anniversary trick was that a family's name was picked from the pool, and the family had to choose a child to enter the Games. It was extremely cruel, and I could barely sit through the reaping.

Jasmine had no luck. She's the oldest out of four, 14 years old, and thought it was her duty to go in lieu of her siblings, two of whom were both old enough to qualify for the Games. Elliot really had no choice, as he was an only child. They both took their fates much stronger than I would have, given the circumstances, so I was very proud. Both were absolutely sweet, minus the manners that Effie had no problem scolding them about, but they had no skills in fighting whatsoever; all they knew how to do was survive, and they'd barely succeeded at that. I tried giving them as much information and as many tips as I could, but my survival was all thanks to Cato and I couldn't prepare them for an arena I didn't know about.

What also disturbed me was that my boyfriend would be indirectly killing them, along with many other children who didn't deserve the fate they were set to by the heavens. I feel so horrible knowing that he is behind the scenes, watching and choosing when and how they will die. There was nothing I could do, though. He was in this for the long haul, and I needed to support him no matter what.

Now I'm sitting in Cinna's office, watching him finish up the designs for the interviews. Elliot and Jasmine were training, so I thought I would spend time with him. Sunny, Finnick and all of my other friends were busy training or doing other appearances, and I didn't want to talk to Effie. Cinna's drawings were beautiful, of course.

"You're lost in that mind again," Cinna interrupts me by saying. My head snaps up quickly. "Tell me what's up."

I watch as he adds the remnants of oranges and reds to create a synthetic fire to the outfits. "All of my thoughts are jumbled. I can't focus on one thought without completely sidetracking to the next. Trust me when I say I have no idea what I'm thinking about."

Cinna finally looks up at me from his drawing and frowns. "What's the worst of your worries?"

I sighed, not knowing where to start. I could start with the two kids from 12. I didn't know them much, but there was still pain in my heart for whether or not one would survive. Two getting out like Cato and I did was a once in a lifetime instance. It won't happen again.

I could start with the fact that I'm getting no attention from my boyfriend. I feel so incredibly vulnerable and in need of someone to comfort me. No, he's not completely ignoring me, but I just feel his attention should be on me and not his job. I admit that Head Gamemaker is possibly the hardest job in the nation, but I should be his number one priority. I need him around more, just to help with simple tasks like sitting up and dressing. I've been left to deal with Effie, Cinna, my mom or the occasional Avox. I need him more than anything now, but he's not even here. I'm so lonely without him. We haven't even properly kissed in a month. Yes, he's kissed me, but they're little pecks, not the ones that make my toes curl and my heart stop. He doesn't even sleep in bed with me either, always coming in at the crack of dawn, which is when I wake up.