The Bartender | L.H

Drink 32

Hiya! Things are so busy here I'm never on my phone anymore sigh.

BUT IM SUPER EXCITED RN

I just finished filling out an application for a hospital about 20 minutes from my house. I'm applying to volunteer there! I won't get paid of course, but this is just volunteer time where I can help. I can work on computers, I can do filing, I can work at the gift shop as well as the information desk, I can escort patients from room to room, I can work in the rehabilitation center, I can talk with paitents families and visitors and more. I'm so excited and I just hope they accept me. I don't see why they wont as most only volunteer once or twice a month but I am applying to volunteer every weekday up until my senior year, and I'm going into sophomore year now. :) I want to work 4 hours on monday and friday, and 5 hours every other day then take weekends off. WHEW, I can only hope they don't have too many volunteers.

I just have to pay for a jacket and badge/laminate thing I have to wear everyday but that is only like $15-30. WISH ME LUCK.

If i get this I will start mid august and continue on year round until 2018 (hopefully) and when I turn 16 I might even be able to get a job there if they are willing to hire me.

Money is always nice.

Also

I know on the past few chapters I have posted I get comments freaking out because some of you think those were the last chapters. no no no,

WHEN THE LAST CHAPTER DOES COME I WILL HAVE A VERY LONG GOODBYE MESSAGE

But no no its not over. Before writing this chapter I thought it would be soon but then I came up with another devious idea revolving around Ashton so I'm excited

one more thing

as I write this intro it is July 6 and two years ago on July 5 & 6 2013 I saw 5SOS and 1D for the FIRS TWO TIMES EVER AND LUKE WAS ONLY 16 I CRY. AND ALSO I REMEMBER SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHTON AND UGH I MISS IT.

Watching people grow up in front of your eyes is heartbreaking especially when they mean the entire world to you and they don't even know you exist. :(((

Alright enjoy this chapter.

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I sniffled, picking up the small bowl with "cookie" written across it.

It was around noon and this was usually the time Cookie would come curling against my legs begging for a treat.

I ached to hear the little pitter patter of his paws on the hardwood floors. I ached to hear the loud shrill screams of Michael as he played his video games upstairs. I ached to feel Lukes arms wrap around my waist as I baked the boys little treats everyday. I ached for anything but this silence.

I slid down to the ground, clutching the bowl to my chest as I started crying for the millionth time since the night before. I don't even think I slept at all, just sat there.

I knew I bought Cookie for Luke, but yet I wished he would have left him here with me. But all I was left with was this ring, which I placed on my finger. I knew it was wrong, should I even be holding it let alone wearing it?

Marriage has always been something I never would've thought I'd obtain; but the thought of walking down an aisle in a big dress to meet eyes and hands with Luke made my heart flutter. I was utterly in love with him and it hurt so bad to not have him here.

And this time I know I'm not getting him back...

I wiped my eyes and lifted msyelf from the floor, going into the bathroom where I stripped myself of my clothing, stepping into the shower.