𝓡𝓸𝔂𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 (𝓡𝓸𝔂𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓢𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓞𝓷𝓮)

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝔂-𝓢𝓲𝔁

Today is the day I officially die. 

No literally.

Today is speech day, and I can't even try to pretend that I'm prepared or excited. I'm just standing in public speaking clenching the ends of my yellow dress in bunches at my sides to avoid having the pestering thump of my hands shaking on the podium. 

My speech is on two crumbled papers on the top shelf of the podium. I don't even know what's going on. All I know is that Mister Jordan has been calling people up podium by podium to the front podium to speak. Last I checked, it was almost Jessie's turn.

That means it's almost my turn.

No no no no no no no.

This can't be happening.

My throat starts to tighten up as my face heats. My body is a mixture of hot and cold. My heart is nearly coming out of my chest.

There's no way I'm gonna be able to do this.

There's no way I'm making it out of this encounter without physically collapsing, or socially becoming more ostracized than I already am by everyone else.

I take a few deep breaths and put a hand on my chest. There has to be a way to get out of this. This can't be the way that this all ends.

But it's gonna happen. He's eventually gonna call my name, and all of these paranoid delusions could become my reality.

I should just sign the death certificate right now.

"Catherine Carter?" A light, male voice brings me out of my thoughts.

Oh no. 

No no no no no no.

It has to be my turn.

This isn't gonna end well. 

I slowly turn, and Mister Jordan is staring at me with the brown piece of board in his left hand and a pencil in his right.

He smiles at me and clears his throat, "I believe it's your turn my dear."

I nod and slowly grab the crumbled pieces of paper. I force myself to walk up to the front of the classroom. I put the pieces of paper on the large podium shelf. I rest my shaky hands right next to the pieces of paper. 

My lip is slightly quivering. I put my head up, and immediately fourteen pairs of eyes are on me.

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no.

I quickly avert my gaze back down to the podium as Mister Jordan comes up next to me. 

He puts one of his hands on the podium and smiles, "I'll be expecting a lot from you after reading your previous speeches." He removes his hand, and sits back at his desk. 

I'll be expecting a lot from you.

Yeah, he's really overestimating my ability to do anything really. At least Mother has one thing right, you always have to expect nothing from me. That way, the smallest thing I do will be worth more.

His black chair is pointed towards me while his feet are crossed. His hands are sprawled around his black suit, while his face is set on mine.

I let out a few deep breaths, and avert my gaze back down to the brown podium. Vomit is already coming into my throat.

There's no way this is gonna work.

But it has to work. We need to get past this. Did we forget about our goal? We need to come in first place. We need to do better.