Perspective

Part 12

I wanted to write yesterday but i ended up just feeling so damn tired i couldn't. I don't know exactly i was THAT tired but like i couldn't. I did feel a bit off most of yesterday though. I'm not sure why either. It was like i was a bit drained or something. I feel better today, it was super long of a day but i got some stuff done in the house as well so i feel better about my day you know? I think when i get stuff done around the apartment it makes me feel like progressive. 

I also got to talk to Myjah again today. Miss that fool. He always has some crazy shit to say. He did tell me he really wants me to move out to Arizona with him, which i almost did when they left initially but i wasn't mentally okay I don't think at that time. Since I've gotten better i do want to move out of my state eventually, it's literally the armpit of the country to be honest, I honestly don't love it. Maybe a few things that are cool but like i just have never been fond of it. But he wants me to go and help him start his business of a dispensary. And he wants my skills at making my edibles. My rice crispies are to die for to be honest, normal and edibles. 

You know I'm honestly a good cook and a good baker. That's one of the things that i like about myself that I'm good at and i see as a positive trait. I'm such wife/mom material. the thing about it is when i cook it do it with that special little ingredient. Love of course. I say that to people all the time but people and they get all "oh my god" and such but like I'm so serious about that. It does make a difference because i feel like its made thoroughly and with time honestly. Plus you know I'm a previous fat person so i know what food is good and what could be good together. The other day i made myself a steak dinner with some white cheddar mac and cheese and sourdough garlic toast. It was so good. and i had posted a picture of it on like FB and Snap  and multiple people commented on the fact that it looked like a meal from a restaurant or something. I didn't know it was going to get such a big positive review from people. That's not the first time I've gotten that kind of attention from people commenting on just simply the way my food looks. Imagine the taste. My future family is going to get the best...and that's me. 

You know something that gives me a sad thought is what's going to happen with my kitties. Like i know some cats can live a long time, i honestly just hope that for my babies. I've had my boys for 4 years. Niko is a bit older then Dexter, and i initially got dexter so Niko wasn't lonely all the time while i was gone at work or whatever i might be. And i love my boys. They're legit my children, I'm sure I've said that before but they mean the world to me. They're both on the bed with me right now, Dexter is almost always right next to me and Niko keeps his distance for the most part and he's at the end of the bed. He seems to be fond of the right corner of the bed by the window I'm not sure why. They do fight but like i feel like a lot of unfixed male cats do. They're super smart too. Like They know what certain phrase words are. They know what "treats" and "are you hungry" means. Or if i say, "you wanna go outside" they know i will open the door for them to go hang out in the hallway. They're literally so cute. My Niko talks to me so much its adorable. Like you can have a actual conversation with him. He also does this thing where he will realize I'm going to sleep and he will start to chatter his voice and come over to me and lay over my abdomen and wants petting and just my attention. He does the same thing in the morning, like as soon as i start to move when I'm trying to wake up he will do the same thing. Dexter sometimes talks too. Not as much. Only when he really wants something or if I'm patting his butt when I'm petting him. He hates that. They're the opposite, Dexter likes his belly rubbed and Niko likes his butt patted. It's funny too because they're legit built the opposite too. Dexter is a skinny long orange cat with orange eyes and Niko is a Big round grey and brown tabby cats with big green eyes. My babies are so cute and they both have baby faces. I also got them from people who are related. My friend Devyn, cousins cat had kittens and she was trying to find homes for them and at the time i was lonely and it was a spur of the moment kind of decision and i went and got him from her at some gas station because she lived far and that was the middle of our locations. And then dexter came from Devyn's sisters cat. I was at Devyn's house for her birthday and her sister calls telling us her cat was giving birth and i decided that when the babies where ready to find homes they brough dexter to my house and here he was.