Perspective

Part 5

I didn't know that i was going to enjoy this as much as i so. I think it's simply allowing me to exsert my inner thoughts and it's almost relieving to me. I had my mandatory day off today but i actually am almost proud of myself because of what I've done with my day. I was able to file my taxes and take care of a doctor appointment fee which is simply because prior to this i didn't fully register my medical insurance. I was able to do all of that and get my fee taken care of. I did all of it on my own and some may say that i should have been doing all this kinds of stuff before now. But for me this is personally a big step. I always felt like i needed help from those who offered thew help, but I've realized since better myself i needed to grow the fuck up and do shit on my own. The promotion at work I've been pushing for is another piece of that and i really feel ready for those things. 

Days off for a lot of people are for rest and such, but there almost a part of me that wants them to call me into work because i annoying like it there. I think i like it because I'm good at it and its familiar. The store would fall apart without me, and i say that because i do so many small jobs and little things that most people seem to not are about. Which is valid because honestly i don't get paid enough for it, but i would say that my OCD and attachment issues come into play there. I mean to be fair, i don't want to work in a environment that's dirty, do you? The thing is, there's those people that work there and are clearly not clean themselves and don't care about the work place cleanliness. If you really think about it a lot of the time if you are a full time employee your job is your second home. Whether you want to admit it or not. So explain to me, how you are okay with letting that environment get dirty? Maybe it is just me, but everything around me must be at least mildly clean. Not even for like germ sake, it just feels nicer when your surroundings are calm and clean. 

The thing about the store is that people, as in customers, will come up in there and just disrespect the fuck out of it. Like it baffles me. Working at that store has taught me how rude, disrespectful, dumb, dirty and just plain out wild people are. Of course i have my customers that are regulars, or just all around good people. But the other people that come in, a much larger portion unfortunately, are just the worst. I have noticed with some people they are unintentionally rude. But it's most likely because they are so used to that behavior they don't even see what the problem is. And then we have the dumb people. The ones that are just so oblivious to their surroundings they cant even read simple signs that tell them not to do or ones that give simple and clear instructions yet they cease to not adhere to them.  The self check out seems to be almost foreign apparently to some people. Especially the older people. It frustrates me because there's so many people, majority being older people, that are hesitant to change anything they are used to. So there are so many people that could in fact use the self checkout, save themselves time, and save us time as employees, but there are some that just refuse because they "don't like" the self check out. Now our self check out machines only take card, so we always have a register open. Open for cash, or people with large orders, but people take advantage of that because of the fact they don't want to use self check out. I don't understand why not. It's literally so simple. We also have the people that like human interaction. Yes its nice sometimes, then we have the super lonely people that will say the most erratic things.

I had a interaction with a older lady the other day. She's in my line and she only had a few things. And she was paying with cash. So i ranger her up and she was looking through her purse for the money. She was taking a little while and seemed to be a bit frazzled, but she finally found the change. Coin by coin might i add, just one at a time from her purse. I have the patience for people that are generally slow, its grown  throughout the time of me working there because I've just experienced so much of it at this point. But as the lady was leaving she strikes the comment, "Yeah sorry I'm all over the place my husband just passed away, been all over the place since then. trying to re find myself." I wasn't sure how to get passed it, nut again I've had plenty of experience with strange comments from people i just kind of frown a bit and give her her things and her receipt sayin, "aw I'm sorry to hear that...have a nice day!" She just took her things and went. I feel like some people may say I'm insensitive for ever so dismissing it, but you got to understand that everything at this job is time reliant. And some people do need to be gently nudged along so that we can get to the next customer. Not to mention a lot of the time at the store we have limited staff, as in between 3 and 5 people on a shift MAX.