Perspective

Part 14

So yesterday was actually really nice. I woke up and i was about to get ready for my therapy appointment and and i seen a message from Nai. He finally had respond to me. But are you ready for this, he told me that him and his girlfriend are broken up. And the thing about that is they've been broken up before, more than once. But this time it's real. I say that because in the past their post and shit that were on social media had her and him together in it are gone now. So its like...that's the official break up status apparently for young people these days. And i went lurking and they are gone for sure. So we talked for a second about the whole situation and we're good now, but i did tell him i still stand on what i had said in the long message you know. To be honest its really relieving to me. I had asked the universe that his young heart finally got what it deserved and that would to be relieved of that evil girl that he was with. She had manipulated him in so many ways and it really upset me. But i feel good for him that he is going to be happier and he needs to learn how to be on his own for a bit. 

But then i had a good visit with my therapist too. I shared with her that i got the raise at work and its in the process of coming along. And i even asked her about the thing that i wanted to. I had asked about how i noticed i don't like the reputation in my daily life and she actually told me it was a good thing. Not only is it a good thing that i notice and recognize the repetition but its also a good thing that i am able to replace the negative habits from what i used to do with positive habits. She told me that is a healing thing. And that's really cool. Like I love that for me. Like i really have come so far in my mental state and my comfortability. Then throughout the day i just kind of had a good day i don't know. Work night was nice too, like it was a slow day and i got to work with Grant and Brian and those goofy bitches be cracking me the fuck up. Brian is going to be leaving soon which sucks but you know he's going to work [and do something that he wants and enjoys. He does often complain about working at the store. We laugh about it a lot and he himself admitted that it's really not that bad, but i think he's generally just not one for customer service like the way our job is. I do hope though that he gets the job that he has been wanting. It will be good for him, i know he's struggled for a while with money and shit and I'm sure he will be able to make some decent money at this job. 

By the way, Happy Valentines Day. I think i used to hate this day because i was honestly just jealous of other peoples happiness. But i kind of see it a bit different today. It's like i just want the world to be more full of love than is there, and i really hope that i will be able to share that Love that's inside me. And since i don't have a significant other i want to spread love in even the smallest way for people. I don't know. There's too much hate in the world as there is, one less person hating on things is the smallest step towards positive intentions. To my fellow Witches, if there may be any, the red and pink candles for the day and white can be a replacement candle for the ones you may not have. That rose quarts and any clear quarts are great for the day, we're also in the waxing crescent and the rose quarts is the prefect pairing for this time for La Luna. And the simple rose petals, thyme, basil, pink salt and many more are components that are great representation of love. I like to be able to share whatever knowledge i can to help others and if you are learning the practice like i am those are just some things I've learned. Oh yeah and i have recently downloaded a app that tells you the current information about the Moon and it is helpful to know what phase we are in for whatever you might be interested in casting called literally Moon Phases. I love it. 

I didn't used to be a person who was one for talking about feelings and shit but i have finally gotten to that point where i am way more open about how i feel and with whom. I'm not going to lie, i did text Abe happy valentines. But i felt like i wanted to. I have a feeling he's not going to say it back. But i kind of accepted that. I mean i sort of hope he does but that's probably pushing it. I do know for a lot of people Valentines is a special day and they most likely only say it to people they love or have feelings for. And i do still have the faintest hope that he could grow feelings for me but currently i got feeling he doesn't. I think me having that bit of hope for him is legit my little optimists delusional thoughts. But i had been thinking back and forth for days if i was going to say anything to him. I had to. I also sent a small meme that was also Aldi related which was more pertinent to me and him. I do like him, he knows that, hell i think everyone knows it. And I'm not ashamed of it either. But until i find a better soul I'm going to have those feelings for that man. I just want to put my feelings on display for him. So it's either he tolerated me because he kind of likes how i talk to him and the fact that i like him or he thinks i am weird as fuck for what i be saying to him and he just tolerates it maybe because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings because well...he's him and he couldn't hurt someone else's feelings on purpose. Either way if me texting him and talking to him the way that i do bothers him he would simply tell me not to. But clearly it doesn't bother him and he's not with anyone either because if he was then that would be a big problem the way i do talk to him.