SHUT DOWN | JENLISA

39

Lisa

I was invited to a house party by my old colleagues and decided if I didn't leave the house now, then I'd lose my fucking mind. So here I was, standing over the grill with a few officers with beers in our hands as they chatted about family, work, and a few cases.

The backyard was packed with other cops, their own families, and the children running around or jumping in the bouncy house. It's not that I hated events like this, but my mind wouldn't catch the hint. I was aggravated and annoyed. I couldn't think straight.

For the past few days, I've been either holed up in my apartment trying to do as much research as I could about Jennie Kim or working my frustrations off at the gym. The smell of meat filled the air, along with the sounds of the children laughing.

"You know, Captain never really dismissed you as a Detective." Blake said, and I nodded.

"I know. He wants me to go back." I took a swig of my beer and sighed.

"So, are you?"

"I don't know." And that was the honest answer. "It's all I've ever known, but I can't get over Jackson's death. It still haunts me."

He squeezed my shoulder. "It hurts losing a partner. It's something only time can heal."

"Yeah."

Everyone gathered around to fill their plates with the assortment of the foods and sides everyone brought before coming to the grill to pick their choice of meat. Blake and I stayed there to help serve everyone before we could make our own plates.

"Manoban. I want you to meet my sister-in-law." Chan introduced me to the woman next to him. "This is Tzuyu. And Tzuyu, this is Lisa."

He gave her a little shove, and Blake elbowed my shoulder teasingly before they both left us alone. I didn't have a type. At least, I thought I didn't.

With one look at the woman standing before me in a beautiful long-sleeved cotton dress, all I could think about was how she didn't look like Jennie Kim. Her hair was not the same colour, her eyes were too soft and innocent, and I knew deep down it was horrible to compare, but I couldn't help myself.

"I've heard a lot of good things about you." She said. Her voice was timid, not strong. Not like Jennie Kim.

"They're probably all lies." I joked.

Tucking her bangs behind her ear, she gave me a smile. "Chan says you're a good detective."

"I am. I mean, I was. I'm not a detective anymore. I left a few weeks ago for personal reasons."

"Would you like to maybe go out for a cup of coffee?" She asked.

I hesitated. I shouldn't have. I wasn't dating Jennie Kim. She wasn't my girlfriend. She was probably cuffing a bunch of other people to her bed during her stupid business trip. There was that unnecessary twinge of jealousy. She wasn't mine. I had to keep reminding myself. She didn't owe me her loyalty, and I didn't owe her mine. Yet, why did I feel like I was betraying her by even thinking about taking Tzuyu out on a date?

"Sure, yeah. We can go tomorrow if you'd like. There's a great coffee shop over at main street that has really good muffins." I offered.

She smiled, but it wasn't a breath-taking smile. It didn't do anything to me. "I'd love that."

We spent the rest of the party talking and trying to get to know each other. It was very exhausting and trying on my behalf. Tzuyu lived a very boring and dull life. There was no spark, no instant connection, and my traitorous mind wouldn't stop comparing everything she did to Jennie.

It wasn't fair to Tzuyu, it really wasn't, because I don't think any woman could ever compare to her. Still, I didn't want to be rude and ignore her. Chan is a close friend, and if he thought we could hit it off somehow, I had to try for his sake.

I ended up getting saddled with driving Tzuyu home. With Chan winking at me and Blake whistling like an idiot, I helped a blushing Tzuyu in my car. We didn't talk much in the car, and it felt awkward the whole drive. My radio wasn't even working, so I couldn't even turn on something to fill the silence.

"Thank you for the ride home. I know Chan forced you..."

"He didn't force me." I corrected. "You needed a ride home, and you don't live too far from me."

She twiddled with her fingers on her lap. "Would you like to come in? For some coffee or tea?"

I opened my mouth to politely tell her no when my phone rang. "I'm sorry." I looked at the unknown number and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you still want to see me?" Her velvety voice came through, and I swear my cock twitched.

Fuck yes. "I'm with someone right now. Can I call you later?"

"Someone? Like a girl someone?" She asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does." She said, with her voice short and clipped.

"Yes, a girl." I think I whispered it. Was I scared of Jennie Kim?

"When you fuck her, try hard not to think of me." She said coldly before hanging up in my face.

I awkwardly put the phone back into the cupholder. "I'm sorry, that was a... friend of mine."

Friend? Nice.

"If you're already dating a girl, you can tell me. It's okay. I won't be upset."

"I... I'm not officially with anyone. We have a very weird and complicated relationship."

That's putting it mildly.

She smiled and took off her seatbelt. Leaning over, she kissed my cheek. "Thank you for dropping me off, Lisa. Good night."

She opened the car door and stepped out. I waited until she was in her house before driving away. I knew where Jennie lived since I watched the streets when her men picked me up that night. I shouldn't care about what she thought of me, and I definitely shouldn't care about her feelings.

If I wanted to have sex with another woman, I was allowed to. It's like the more I told myself none of these things mattered, the more they start to matter to me. I didn't have an ounce of fear as I drove toward her place.

I've faced serial killers and terrorists, been in hostage situations, and dealt with forces scarier than Jennie Kim. If she wanted to shoot me on the spot, then so be it.