SHUT DOWN | JENLISA

35

Jennie

I truly am such a beautiful human being. My confidence in myself and in my worth stemmed from years of self-affirmations and self-love, and praise. I am beautiful. I am deserving. I am strong. I am brave.

Looking into the mirror, I truly knew why both men and women desired me. I wasn't lacking in anything. My hair was silky and shiny, and this time, I left it un-straightened. I wanted it to be in its natural state of waves and uncontrolled frizz.

I left my face bare of any makeup after my shower and decided this was how I would greet Lisa. A woman didn't have to dress up and go all out for another person if she didn't want to. I didn't invite Lisa here to seduce her.

No, not this time. I brought her here because I enjoyed talking to her. It was rare that I found someone interesting, but Lisa intrigued me. She's different from the others, and I don't know if it's the determination she carried in her eyes or how she looked at me as if she saw me the same way I saw her.

Special. Persistent. Stubborn. Lisa wasn't like the other people that I'd slept with. I've never had anyone be possessive over me from the very beginning, and it's all I'd been constantly thinking about. She was also the jealous type.

Most of them would want to share you with their friends or have you dance for everyone to show you off, but with Lisa, it was the opposite. It was like she wanted to hide me, so no one ever saw me like that. It almost felt like she wanted to fuck the memory of every person that I'd ever been with and replace it all with memories of her. The sex was mind-blowing and insane, making me feel oddly calm right after.

At our first meeting, I had wanted to distract her by sitting naked, but this time I wanted to see how she'd act if I were to show up wearing clothes. Would she try to get me into bed right away? Or would she choose to sit down and indulge me with conversation?

These were crucial to know what kind of person Lisa truly was. Her background check proved empty and dull, but I didn't trust it. She was certainly not a boring electrician. No, this person was much, much more, and I'd prove it.

I slipped into my silk pyjama pants with a matching buttoned-up shirt. I stepped downstairs and walked down to the kitchen. Beth was cooking and singing along to the stereo while my dogs ate their meals. I went to them and rubbed their backs and petted their heads.

"How is dinner going?" I asked, leaning against the counter while Beth cooked.

She turned down the volume and spun around with a wooden spoon in her hand. "Taste the sauce." She offered it to me. I licked the creamy pasta sauce and gave her two thumbs up.

"Fantastic. I'm actually starving."

"I made pasta, a nice and fresh garden salad, and will cook up the garlic bread when your date comes."

I winced visibly. "She's not my date, Beth. She's someone whom I'm having sex with."

"So, friends with benefits?"

I chuckled. "How do you know what friends with benefits are?"

"My granddaughters tell me everything." She said.

I sat down on the ground by Eros, and the dog quickly left his meal and rested his head on my lap. "It's just benefits. She's not my friend, Beth."

She didn't respond to my words, and she didn't have to. Beth is sweet and nice to me, and she didn't know the life that I led enough to hate me or think the worst of me. She respected me, and I respected her. Trust was rare nowadays, but I did trust Beth with my dogs, house, and cooking.