familiar? (𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕝𝕠)

44

chris sighed contently as he walked in through their front door.

"home sweet home." he said closing his eyes and smiling happily.

"dude, get out the way of the door. i'm carrying three bags." matt complained pushing past his content brother.

nick followed in quietly behind his brothers, not saying a word. a cloud of grey hung over his head as he started to walk up the stairs.

"nick." chris said gently. nick stopped slowly before turning around to look at his brother. he didn't say anything, he just waited for his brother to keep talking,

"are you sure you're ok?"

"i'm fin-"

"you didn't talk the whole flight back."

"i said, im-"

"or in the uber ride home."

"i'm ok-"

"even right now-"

"IM FINE- oh my god chris. i'm fine." nick said fed up. chris stayed quiet, nick took that as his cue to continue walking up the stairs until he was out of sight.

he walked to his room, all these emotions swirling inside of him, he didn't know which one he felt the most. all of them felt so intense and real.

he felt angry.

angry that it had to be this way. angry that he couldn't see max, atleast not in the flesh. angry that they were even split up as kids. they should've gotten together much soon and easier, they should've been happy a long time ago.

he felt confused.

he'd never felt like this for a person. sure he'd liked, maybe even loved, someone before. but he'd never had to do it this way. meet them, fall in love, and then have no choice but to fly across the country, away from them.

he felt sad.

sad that he had to leave max. he had to leave him behind. from what max had told him, his life in LA wasn't a fun one. it was rather boring. he didn't have many friends, not cause he isn't likeable, but because everyone there sucks. he lives away from his aunty and uncle who are his only support, he quite literally has no one. and that makes nick feel like shit. he wants to be there for max. he wants max to feel loved, all the time. he wants max to know that he isn't alone and that he has friends who love and care for him. he wants to be there for max.

he started to unpack his belongings, something he found quite therapeutic after a long trip. usually he'd be peppy and full of spirit since he's back home. he also wasn't playing music while he unpacked, which was definitely very different. it's like all the life had been sucked out of him.

he knew this wasn't healthy, he knew he couldn't go on like this forever. he'd get used to it eventually. wouldn't he? he'd get used to not seeing maxs smile everyday. he'd get used to not being able to hug max tightly when he was scared, sad, or just really wanted a hug. he'd get used to not be able to kiss his lips softly when they greet each other.

he'd have to get used to it. he had no other choice.

what was he thinking? theyd see each other again. he's acting like they broke up, like max doesn't love him anymore.

what if max falls out of love with him? what if while they're separated, max meets someone who's better than nick. more attractive, kinder, funnier, friendlier. the distance between them would surely mean max could get away with so much more. he could sleep with people in secret. max and nick hadn't had sex yet, and it was the last thing on nicks mind when it came to their relationship. but what if max got impatient, and just couldn't wait any longer?