Rain Check?

~63~

  With one day left of my leave I make the very conscious decision to do everything I can to make sure Chris doesn't manage to wiggle his way back to the forefront of my mind. Star and I had pulled out of the parking lot Monday night long enough for Carly to think we'd gone home, before turning around and going back. I used my key and grabbed up the mounting stack of papers that needed to be graded and left a little note for the kids on the board letting them know I was looking forward to being back with them on Wednesday.

  Turning on the blue tooth speaker I flip the station on my phone to my 'High School Hits' playlist. Right off the bat California Love by 2Pac starts flowing through the speakers. I shake out my limbs for a moment, trying to release the tension that still sits from the day before, earning a loud bark from the pup that's staring at me from the corner of the living room. Flitting around the kitchen , bouncing to the beat of the song I make a cup of coffee and start on a healthy breakfast, bound and determined to also make myself eat all three meals today in order to be in tip top shape to return to my rugrats. 

  As I start to scramble the eggs the tune changes to Blink 182's All The Small Things, and I'm instantly remembering the video from MTV as they make a complete spoof off all the boy bands that adorned my walls as a teen. 

  By the time I'm pushing toast into the toaster Cher's Believe starts playing. Without thinking I'm instantly singing along with the words, putting on a full show right in the middle of my kitchen with Star bouncing around under my feet.  I hold out the spatula towards the dancing dog as if it's her own microphone, but instead she obviously thinks I'm feeding her the eggs that have stuck to the edge. I fall into a fit of laughter, sitting on the cold linoleum with her jumping up into my lap. 

  "Do you believe in life after love," Cher belts out from my speakers. I pause in mid ruffle of Star's belly as the music fades out, the words finally registering a little more clearly in my mind. The melody of the next one starts and I quickly jump up, changing to the next song. As much as I like Boys II Men, I cannot handle End of the Road at this point.

  Because, deep within my damaged and broken heart I can only pray that this isn't the end of the road for Chris and I. But I'm no where near the place I should be to even think about forgiveness.

  By mid afternoon I've graded every piece of language arts and reading comprehension from the last five school days. My eyes start to cross when I move onto math so I decide I've earned a break and a treat. With having had a decent breakfast and a healthy lunch of salad, I make the decision to spoil it all with a greasy cheese pizza from Leoni's. 

  It's only three o'clock so the after school set hasn't gotten in yet, and definitely too early for even the early birds who eat dinner before the sun starts to set. I walk right in and up to the counter, placing my order with the middle aged blonde woman.

  "Here or to go?" she asks as she takes my card.

  "Here," the voice behind me states. 

  My shoulders drop at the man's voice. "Forget it, cancel it."

  "Oh, I uh, already ran your card," she informs me, passing the debit card over to me. 

  "Fine. It's to go, and I'll wait for it in my car."

  "Dempsey, please," Chris says as I step back towards the door. 

  "Are you following me?" I demand to know.

  "Not at all, I swear," his accent thick. "I'm meeting Scott here. I got here like ten minutes ago, placed the order and went to the bathroom. But, now that you're here, that has to mean something, right?"