12| Flashback

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I was making my way towards my room when Athena intercepted me at my door

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I was making my way towards my room when Athena intercepted me at my door.

"What are you embarrassed he found out how stupid you are?" She had a smile on her face as she said this and I had to to stop myself from tearing up.

Around other people I was strong. I had no other choice to be but Athena is the only one who hits all the weak points.

She's the only one who can completely break my heart and I will always fix it back up for her to break again.

I didn't say anything to her instead I just softly moved her from in front of my door and went inside locking my door as it shuts.

I walk over to the window seat that I have in my room and I just sit there.

Her words on a constant replay in my head as I tried to tell myself that what she said wasn't true.

That I was intelligent and even if I wasn't it was not my fault.

My mind didn't agree with that thought.

I rested my head against my knees as I looked out towards the window and I was startled when my stomach grumbled at me.

My mind couldn't help but go back to dinner.

Flashback to dinner

You can do this.

It's poisoned

Their your family. Your actual family they wouldn't hurt the food.

It's a trick I can't eat.

Everyone is eating the same thing it's fine.

Don't eat it you didn't see them make it.

It's safe to eat. Just take a bite it's okay.

You'll get sick don't trust it.

My stomach was grumbling quietly and I had to force back the tears as I was trying to force my hand to pick up the spoon.

Lifting my hand I couldn't stop it from shaking. Shaking my head a bit I keep my hand under the table and close my eyes tightly.

I'll just make myself something later.

Flashback over

It was hard constantly having that fear that something was wrong with the food.

That the food was tainted with glass shards and I would choke on them.

It was hard thinking that all the food was like the Wavors whenever they cooked and forced me to consume it.

I couldn't eat anything if I didn't see it be prepared or I didn't prepare it myself.

Whenever I was with him he would swap plates with me or taste everything on my plate for me.

When I asked Athena to do the same she laughed a me, I just decided to save myself the heartache and I have just been cooking my own food for everything.

It was exhausting being too scared to even go out to restaurants because you have the fear that your food is tainted.

I've talked to my therapist about it and so far I haven't had any progress with that part of my trauma.

I decided to stop with my depressing thoughts before it takes me into a downward spiral and I end up in a bad headspace.

Decided to just paint for a while I go towards my closet to grab some shoes for myself.

My painting supplies was one of the things I didn't bring with me so I needed to go to the store and grab some.

I was walking down the stairs when I heard the sound of glass breaking and from that point on it was bad.

My mind instantly went into defense mode and before I could try and convince myself I was safe I was sprinting back towards my room and locking the door behind me.

My hands was shaking so bad and I couldn't stop my head from spinning.

This was exactly what I didn't want. It was one of the reasons I had completely plastic cups, plates, and bowls.

This was another thing I haven't been able to work through.

The sound of glass breaking always sent me into a panic because the memories just bombards me before I could convince myself I was okay.

This time was no different either.

Flashback Begins

*CRASH*

You are so ungrateful. Maybe we should just go back and get your sister.

She would've been a much better choice!

*CRASH*

The cup was hurled towards my head and with swiftness I quickly ducked down to avoid it breaking on my skin.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking I couldn't move.

"N-no I-I'm sorry. P-please I didn't mean t-to. Please stop." I couldn't help but beg. I hate that the sound of glass instantly makes me weak.

Just the sound sends me into a panic and it didn't help that they knew that and used it against me every chance they get.

*CRASH*

This one hit me.

Straight in the leg. It shattered as soon as it hit and I couldn't help the cry that left my lips as I felt the glass shards piece through my leg.

*CRASH*
*CRASH*
*CRASH*

She threw multiple glasses onto the ground in front of me and the evil smile she had placed onto her face had me worried.

"Come here." My heart fell as the words registered in head.

"N-no please don't make me go. P-please I'll be good." I had my hands stretched out in front of me but it proved me no good when she stormed her way towards me.

As soon as she was in front of me she grabbed me by my hair and made me walk across the glass ignoring my cries as the glass dug into my bare feet.

All I could hear was my screams of pain and the sound of her heels clicking across the glass covered floor.

Flashback End.

As I came out of my panic I found myself balled up in a corner entire body shaking.

Taking my shaky hands I pull off the shoes and socks I had put on and dry sob as I see the scars left on the bottoms of my feet.

The bottoms of my feet were permanently scarred and rough now after the Wavors treatment.

I always try to have socks on so I don't have to look at them and be reminded of it.

Putting my socks back on I just sit there and watch the ceiling.

I'm willing to take Athena's comments and jabs knowing I saved her from having to deal with this as well.

Continuing to look at the ceiling I decided one thing.

I'm going to paint that.

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