Chapter 47

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Not knowing why, you felt bad. Lying in Nanami's bed, it wasn't nice. You didn't know how to feel. Even though it was comfortable to sleep on, you still felt like ordinary needles were sticking into you. It was a strange bed. Not the one you slept in. You are just in it for the first time. It was so cold. You felt uncomfortable. Not like when you were with Gojo. You wanted to sleep well. So just not be here.

This place told you you're not home. A different smell and atmosphere.

Here it was cold. Peaceful and quiet. Feel cold even if the temperature in room was normal. The smell was different. The freshness of plants, the delicate scents of the tree. Natural fragrances. Delicate. It smells like Nanami. Just like him. Even though you can smell perfume and cologne on him, if you could empathize with him more, you would feel more what his house smells like. Yes peacefully... None smells that stand out. It was just that, even the smell of his house was calm.

There, with Gojo's. With your Satoru, with whom you live, it was quite different.

The joy emanating from him mixed everything up so thoroughly. Darkness, seriousness and madness. He was often joyful. It made house the same. You were also affected by the positive emotions. You didn't get so crazy. Not like before.

But once Nanami appeared in your life, it all started to change. He goes crazy more often. He was serious more often. He hurt you more often. He scared you. You were afraid that he might come back to the time when he tied you up, and hurt you. In which time he caused you pain. You didn't want to fall in love with him so much. Not in a Gojo like that. But you couldn't help that, you love him before. But you ran away in fear of he. He loved you too, but you broke it.

Now, when you have a chance to rebuild it, Nanami appeared. Of course, you respect that he wants to help. But you don't want him to help that way. By hurting you and himself. And even a Gojo. It's just not fair. You already made a choice at school between him and your senpai. A choice that was not easy for you to make. You loved them both. But they both didn't love you that you wanted them to. You didn't want Nanami as a boyfriend anymore, but as a friend, as a family member. He didn't love you. And Gojo has always loved you. Although, it was terrifying how he loved you.

But he still loved you, right?
It's still love.
It's still love, just different.
But still love.

You don't want this to change, because someone finally loves you. You want him to be your happiness. Because you have nothing else. Nobody else.

You couldn't believe your friend may want to destroy the chance on your happiness, only on the pretext that Gojo is insane and dangerous.

He's good for you...

Moving quietly in bed, you left it with the desire to walk around the house. Maybe you can find something.

Slowly leaving the room he took you to after eating, you looked around. It was dark almost everywhere except for one small lamp that was turned on. It was standing on the cupboard next to the armchair you had seen earlier. A person sat on it.

Feeling shivers down your spine at the sight of it, you pulled back a little. You didn't know what you were afraid of, but you had fear.

You literally could think that this person might turn around and show Gojo right away. But then you relaxed. He wouldn't do anything to you. Despite the sadist's smile, he won't do anything to you.

You moved so quietly, that no one would hear you. Certainly this person.  Without even seeing the face, you know it is Nanami. He didn't bring you here so you wouldn't know where you are now.

A few questions were confusing you. You wanted answers to them. But you were worried that he wouldn't answer you.

With renewed courage you walked closer to him and began staring at the phone in his hand. You couldn't see anything clearly, but the screen was bright. And he wasn't moving. It ruled out that he was watching any video. He was just staring at something. Or he was reading.

"Nanami." you said suddenly. You saw how his shoulders lifted slightly as he suddenly became frightened by the sudden sound.

He was not used to being summoned at his home. He always lived alone. And he did not get visitors often. Plus you who had the stealth technique. Only you could sneak up on him like that.

"Yes?" he asked turning away.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." you said coming a little closer.

"That's nothing. It is only... stealth technique. That's it. I didn't know you were there in time."

"...stealth...technique..." you repeated the name of your technique softly. You haven't heard this for a long time. It's weird to hear that. "I do not use it."

"Even so, you can still sneak. I know what he did to you... Technique... We will try to restore it somehow. Don't worry." he said, standing up.

"No. I do not need it. Substantially... It's even better without it."

"What?"

"I don't want technique and energy again. This is more convenient for me. I don't care if I have it or not, but I'd rather live without it. I don't care about sorcerers. I don't care how high my grade was. I prefer to be like this."

"(y/n)–"

"Nanami." you cut him off. "All is good. And it is gonna be fine." you gave him a nice smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You don't know how I hated being a sorcerer. And this... It helped me. I was scared at first, but Satoru... He helped me come to terms with such a life. I like this."

"Gojo is–"

"I know what you want to say. The same as earlier. But I will continue to say the same. Continuously. I know where I am well."

"We'll talk in the morning. You better go to sleep."

"You should too."

"I will go to sleep. And you should think about all of this. You should know yourself that he's not the good one here."

"It is important that I feel good with him."

"Such selfish thoughts lead to ruin."

"And you? Did you think about it when you kidnapped me from  home?"

"I think about everything. (y/n). I keep thinking where to take you. How I can help you. How to get rid you of this madman." he said, suppressing his negative emotions.

"But you don't know what I want."

"I know you want peace."

"I want to be in home. Live as always. Be happy. So why do you always take it from me?" you asked softly screaming. "I know what I want. I also know what he wants. But you say... You know it hurts? It hurts me how each of you pulls me away. And when I finally know where I can be. Where can I find my happiness in life, you have to spoil everything. You provoke yourselves. In this you destroy me. Why can't you stop? You don't know how well it was before."

"You–" he sighed to calm himself down before he yelled something he would regret. "We'll talk in the morning."

You thought he was gonna let it all go. But he wasn't going to. You already wanted to come back. You didn't want to be here. You wanted to home. To familiar walls. Even to home with chains. There was too much freedom here. But you couldn't leave anyway.

Nanami was not the good they talked about. "Good always wins over evil." It's not Nanami. Neither he nor Gojo were good.

"But–"

"Enough! Enough for today. Go rest." He shouted, rubbing his temple.

As you shudder at his scream, you felt your eyes start to burn. He's never yelled at you before.

You don't like screaming.

Why everyone is sick of you?

You don't know who's bad and who's good anymore.

But you still want to go home.

A/N: I have translated this chapter in a different way to reduce the number of mistakes. Now I ask you, my readers, if there are many mistakes in this chapter? I'm waiting for your answer (◔‿◔)

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