TWENTY-FIVE
CRAZY NEW YEAR
01/01/2022
New Year's Day
11:36 pm
Dear Diary
Classic Shantel just wanted to borrow my iPhone charger since my phone was lost and I was too tired and hurt to argue with her so I just gestured at the charger with my head and watched her take it with a look of shock in her eyes.
Normally she knows I'll never let her go so easily and to be honest, maybe I'm still going to go back for that charger—Maybe I'm just all over my head right now with thoughts of Elvis and the look in his eyes before the accident—What the HELL am I saying?! See!
Or wait, maybe it's just the midnight jollof rice.
Anyway, back to my story.
He apologized with a look of horror and he wouldn't stop asking if I was sure everything was alright with me.
"I'm fine sir...are you though?"
"Yeah" he nodded with a nervous smile on his face.
"You really shouldn't drink and drive—it's disastrous". I said and I watched him freeze for a second like I'd run a glass of ice-cold water down his spine. "I'm sorry if I've said something wrong sir". I immediately began to apologize, I mean, who wants to risk the chance of getting a better phone?
"No...you...you're right, Shanko--"
"--Shaniqua" I sighed in frustration. This was beginning to look and sound like a long-term routine.
Shanko Koh...Shanko Rashidi ni.
"I'm sorry—I'll try to get used to it."
"Amen," I muttered and looked away from him but I turned around when I heard him laugh.
"You're a very interesting person you know?"
"I'd say the same thing if I met me today sir," I admitted.
"I mean, 24 hours with you feels like 24 years already."
"It's my mouth sir, it'll be the death of me."
"I'm glad you know that."
I just smiled in return—what was I supposed to say to that? Amen? Or maybe Thank you, sir?
He got a personal phone call and had that through the remaining hours of the journey up until he got to the front gate of my house and asked that the person call him back.
"Oh! You don't have to end the call sir—keep talking to your girlfriend I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Christ! Who told you I was talking to my girlfriend?"
'You kept calling the person words like "Babe" and you also kept repeating words like, "you know I love you"' I wanted to say, but I just smiled and released an awkward energy with the expression of my body.
"I'm sorry sir."
"There's nothing to be sorry about and I do not have to explain myself to you but since we'll be working together for a while you might need to understand that I have only one kid sister that I call 'Babe' a lot."
This one was a mind-reader no doubt.
"Oh okay sir, I'll see you tomorrow, thank you for dropping me off."
"Won't you invite me—,"
"—Goodnight sir" and I slammed the door and hurried into the gate.
It's not only invite, it's RSVP. As if it is not already bad enough that he knows my house.
I've been making calls while writing—my mouth is beginning to pain me, Boya he'll not be angry because I can't make another call as it is.
I need to sleep in order not to let today repeat itself.
Goodnight Bebi.
It's really been a Crazy New Year.
The assistant: Shaniqua
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YOU ARE READING
Diary of the Crazy Shaniqua Bello
HumorShaniqua Bello is a 24 year old graduate navigating through life in the busy city of Lagos and THIS is her diary.
