The Perfect Couple | | JJK

45

Jungkook's Pov

"Do you love me?" I stare into her dark brown eyes and a little smile on her face. I can hear her loud heart beats, but as she asks that, my mind goes blank.

I don't know why it always catches me off guard when she asks me those types of questions.

I never have any answers to them. I never know how to explain it.

When it takes longer than needed for me to answer I notice how her smile drops with the frown creasing on her forehead.

"Kook... What is it between us?"

Just like before, I still don't have an answer for it. Even I don't know what it is.

The only thing I'm sure about is that I want her with me and without her I don't know what I'd do.

But I am afraid that the word 'love' is too strong to explain my feelings.

I am afraid what I feel towards her is just attraction because that's how our so called relationship started.

However, I am damn sure I can't see her in pain. I want to see her smiling with me. I want to be happy with her. I was never committed to anyone and I was never in a relationship.

I don't know what actually love is.

I might hurt her. And that's the last thing I'd want to do.

"Y/n, I don't know." I take in her calm expressions as she waits for me to continue.

"I... I love to be with you. But I am not sure if I am in love with you."

Instantly I hold her hands making her look at me.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't want to hurt you but I am not sure of my feelings." She looks into my eyes and I already know how upsetting my words might sound.

She stares at her lap and then at our hands.

I see how her lips curl up into a smile which is strange at this moment.

"I get it." She pulls her hands away standing up.

"Let's just be like this, please. Don't leave." She looks at me narrowing her eyes.

"What do you mean? We never had anything between us. And me leaving you wouldn't affect you at all. I am sure you'll get over me soon." I shake my head holding her shoulders.

"No. It's not like that-" She steps away as my hands drop on the side.

"I liked whatever it was between us Jungkook but if I let it keep going, I'd just hurt myself. I loved you is my mistake and I'll deal with it."

She turns around leaving the house. As much as I want to run towards her and just stop her I choose to not act stupid.

If now, I go after her it's just giving her false hope.

I sit back on my bed staring at the ceiling several thoughts going on in my mind.

"What did I do?" I ask myself holding my hair in frustration.

I find myself so confusing. One moment, I want to keep her with me forever and the other moment I let go of her.

I pull out my phone dialing the number of the only person who can help me right now.

~~~~~~~

"What? Jesus Christ! What's going on with you Jungkook?" I poke my inner cheeks waiting for this guy right here to stop shouting at me.

We can talk peacefully.

"Taehyung. I don't know if it's love. That's it." He scoffs plopping on the couch beside me.

"Dude, I get it you are afraid that you might hurt yourself or her but are you capable of never seeing her ever again?"

That statement catches me off guard. The thought of never seeing her again suffocates me to the bones.

I realize what an impossible task it is.

"No..." I whisper staring at my laps.

"Tell me how does it feel to have a thought of losing her?" I gulp the hard lump forming in my throat.

"But, what if it doesn't work out well? What if one of us falls out of love? What if feelings change with time? What if we don't make a good couple? What if we end up hurting each other? Wouldn't it be more painful later?"

I feel my chest tightening as I think more about it.

"What if your love is stronger than all your insecurities?" I tilt my head looking at him.

I don't get what he means.

"Jungkook, loving doesn't mean that everything will be perfect. It means, that the imperfections wouldn't matter at all."

Somewhere, that line hits me in the gut.

All this time, I was afraid of our love turning out to be imperfect but he made me realize how perfection doesn't matter.

I want everything to be perfect and it isn't how it works.

I do realize how much I love her. How I am not ready to let go of her and I'll never be able to get ready for that.

I think I am able to sort out my head now.

"Love comes naturally. You don't have to force that feeling. If you love her, then go for it, make it work out. And if you are still not sure then let go of her. You'd eventually get over it."

No, I love her.

I really do.

I am... I was just so messed up that I couldn't realize it.

I heave out a sigh looking at him.

"I messed up, didn't I?"

I ask in a low voice. As I lift my head and look around my house, all I can see is her jumping here and there wearing my tee and how her little pretty smile lights up this entire house.

I miss her.

I miss how happy I am when I am with her.

I miss how I make her happy.

"You did." Thinking for a while, I stand up from the couch taking a deep breath.

"What should I do now?" I see him almost banging his head on the desk.

"You're so stupid." I can't agree to it more than I already do.

"I know."

He clicks his tongue shaking his head.

"Bro, go for it and clear out the misunderstandings." he shouted on my face. I nod my head biting my lips.

"If I don't go today then it's over for real."