Cross In The Light ✔️

Ch. 64

Lightning POV
"I know things are as they should be, and I've learned things about Jamie, but... I feel like we're just at the point we should have been the day we crossed paths."
I know what I'm saying makes little sense because this would mean I know very little about Jamie and possibly not how bad her mental struggle is. I don't think I noticed how she was dealing with depression before all the Autobots separated.
"You're right; it's like we just crossed paths yesterday. Even though six months have gone by. It's really only been six weeks since Jamie has felt safe around you," Drift explains.
That hurt hearing six months have gone by, yet we made progress just six weeks ago.
"Now I think you need to get past your guilt," I hear Optimus say.
I shouldn't; I deserve to feel the guilt that I delayed what Crosshairs wanted and caused so much pain. I could have killed Jamie, though her recovery from what I did wasn't easy.
"How's holding on to the guilt going to help you?" Crosshairs asks, "you're just hurting yourself. Come on, let's find our sister."

Jamie is with Bumblebee and Hot Rod, playing video games. It's clear she's still struggling, knowing more friends know about her mental struggle.
"Is she going to try to hide?" I whisper to Crosshairs.
"I don't think so."
Crosshairs doesn't sound sure himself, which is not reassuring. I'm not even going to ask how Jamie was when he, Drift, Hound, and later Cade found out about everything. There's still the question about the medical equipment. There's no way all that isn't for a medical condition. I'm in no hurry to find out, but I also feel like I need to know.

I catch Jamie going upstairs to her room. I can't just assume she's going to take a nap.
I watch five minutes before opening the door, immediately hearing crying. I know Jamie might push me away, but I want to try to deal with this myself. Knowing Drift, he'll be checking if Jamie is in her room soon.
Jamie doesn't see who just sat on the bed or pushes me away as I move her onto my lap.
She leans on me and cries as I hug her. I rub her back, hoping to get her to calm down.
What is going through your mind? 
After a few minutes, I lift Jamie's head to make her look at me.
"It's ok, little sister; we love you and will help you."
I try to hide my fear she'll use what I did against me.
She rests her head back on me once I let go.

Twenty minutes pass before Drift rushes in with Crosshairs close behind him. By now, Jamie is asleep. She's all stuffed up from crying. So much for hiding that she was crying.
"She won't hide, huh?" I repeat.
"She normally wouldn't," Crosshairs claims.
"He's right," Drift confirms, "this is not good."
Bumblebee is right; there's more to work on.

Drift POV
This is not like Jamie. I don't think she's over the fact five friends found out about her mental struggle. I don't understand why it's harder for her this time. She knows we can't avoid this, unlike showing us her appearance in her dimension.
"There's nothing we can do," I regret saying, "you, Hot Rod, and Rangeblade already told her you all want to support her."
"Uh, Drift, you're forgetting," Crosshairs reminds me.
I sigh, "so much for the plan."
"Wouldn't it be better they know now?" Crosshairs asks, "even the minor ones can look scary."
Lightning looks at us, shocked.
"Minor?" She asks.
"As much as I don't want to upset her more, we need to wait for Jamie to wake up before telling you, Hot Rod Rangeblade and Vivian."

Things started as I expected; Jamie is upset. She knows this is something we can't keep secret. Though her mental health has been a challenge to where I don't think she can keep that secret. At least that won't scare someone like her condition can. I don't want to remind her how we found out. I'm glad Bumblebee was with us and Jamie's friends Jayce and J.R. I was hoping to hold off telling Hot Rod, Lightning, Rangeblade, and Vivian for a bit, but Crosshairs has a point.
I don't know if Lightning approaching her right now is a good idea, as I watch her pick Jamie up and hug her. Jamie hugs her rather than put up a fight. This is interesting, but Jamie is still upset. I don't like how the other three walked in. They sit on the couch and try to calm Jamie down.
"We need to get Optimus involved," Crosshairs whispers.
I don't even get a chance to say anything before Crosshairs is texting our leader.
I fear this may turn into a lesson on Jamie's history. Sure, that might be better, but not while Jamie is upset.

Optimus Prime POV
Crosshairs: we're telling Hot Rod, Lightning, and Rangeblade about Jamie's condition, and you can guess how it's going.
Damn it, it's obvious why Jamie is not liking having to tell new friends about her condition and mental health. With how she is treated in her dimension, it's understandable why Jamie is terrified to tell new friends, but this can't be avoided, like showing friends her appearance in her dimension. She always used her cross-dimensional appearance.
Cade and Izzy insist on helping me, but understand how seeing more friends will not help Jamie. I don't think Jamie understands that Izzy, Shane, and Tessa don't know either, but Cade does and can tell them Jamie's history if he wants, as it's hard to know how often they'll see Jamie.

I take Jamie from Lightning, hoping she'll relax, knowing I'm the one hugging her.
"You know they have to know. It's better our new friends know now," I remind her. I know Lightning isn't considered a new friend, but she knows what I mean.
The three friends looking to discover what this condition is are looking at me, wanting to step in. I nod, confirming they can talk to Jamie.
"Jamie, it's ok; we still care about you," Lightning assures her, "something tells me this is serious and dangerous if we don't know about it."
"Drift, take her," I insist.
Drift takes Jamie from my lap and leaves the room. I have Crosshairs stay here aware there are possible details I don't know related to while we were in hiding and after I left Earth.

"Damn," Hot Rod comments.
"I should be grateful she didn't think I was hired by Jadin," Rangeblade comments, "Is that why you hated me?"
"That never even crossed my processor, but it should have," Crosshairs admits.
"I can't believe it. Bad enough, I know that glitch Jadin wants her dead, but this is out of our control," Lightning comments, stressed.
"Hey, hey, it's ok," Crosshairs assures her, "I know it sounds scary, but most of the time, it's not deadly."
"Most of the time," Hot Rod repeats, "but there's still a chance."

I take everyone to the makeshift medbay. It's not great showing the last severe flare-up was two years ago. Even if that one was deliberate and the last one triggered by Jamie's body was years ago. The simple notes we have still caused Hot Rod, Lightning, and Rangerblade to worry.
"No, I'm not having you three learn to take care of her yet," I tell them before any of them ask, "Jamie is already struggling with the fact you three now know, even if she will be unconscious when she's dealing with a flare-up. Also, there's a lot to learn."
"We are already learning," Lightning points out, "with her mental struggle. Even if we don't know everything that's causing her depression."
Crosshairs nods, giving me the go-ahead to talk about that. 
".... I should have helped her. Even if Ratchet invented holoforms sooner, how could we explain several adult men knowing a young child? When he invented the holoforms, that was still a concern even though Jamie was a teenager. I should have figured out how to help her while keeping everyone secret. Now Jamie is twenty-five but is too used to being alone. No matter how often she's with her best friends and guardians or any other friends."
"Sir, this is not your fault," Crosshairs argues, "We've seen the problems in her dimension," Crosshairs sighs, "I don't think you could have helped her as well as you're thinking."

Hot Rod POV
Damn, I hate how humans treat mental health. Even if things are better than thirty years ago, it feels like minor progress hearing Jamie's history. I know Cybertron is not perfect — thinking about the terror twins — but it's better than Earth. I'm going to talk to Crosshairs and Drift later. I'd rather this be a problem we can resolve now, but we can only partially resolve it.