Not Too Late | Choi San

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

we can
die a thousand times
in one
lifetime.
- d.j

•••

warning - this chapter contains heavy themes of abuse and detailed graphic scenes. be cautious and if you get triggered easily i suggest you skip to the next chapter, it's for your own safety.

         the deep web. a messed up place for messed up people.

San was no stranger to the underbelly of the internet, has been exposed to it at such a young age. he's seen his father work on it too many times, heard him talking about his rising business there. he despised his father even before he laid a hand on him, for he knew he's bad.

so many times kids were taken to his house at weird hours and his dad would take a camera and lock the kids and himself in a room, closing the door and later on San would hear screaming from where he hid in his bedroom. at first he wondered what he did to them, but San soon figured out what he did to them when his father began doing the same things to him too.

his website, the leakt was famous for child abuse of all kinds. people would visit it and pay dozens of dollars to watch kids being abused, verbally, mentally, and even sexually. it was messed up and more times than not San prayed that the police will find his father and arrest him, he even tried to go and put a complaint on him once but no one took him seriously and he got punished really bad when he got home.

the website was mostly run on child torture, videos of kids being tortured in the most creative ways available everywhere on it but for certain prices, the more damage done to the child, the more money. one time his father even got a hold of an infant and locked himself for hours in that room.

his mother always seemed to be absent at these times.

San, however, wasn't for the videos. he was a toy just like other kids, but he was an exclusive one. his father has once told him whilst driving to one of his clients that people love torturing others, and they love breaking up something that seem unbreakable. and he said San looked like that, even if his eyes has lost the fight in them a long time ago and his body was nothing but a bag of scars and bruises. he was his hidden gem, his powerful secret.

San tried to ask his mom for help at first, but she would always cry and hug him, telling him that better days were to come. she was never in a good shape, always with bruises to her pale skin and fatigue in her eyes. and when she fell into the arms of cancer, San saw her less and less, and became more and more unstable, more suicidal.

he tried committing suicide a few times through razor cuts, but he always failed due to the fact of always being discovered by his father. the man always made sure to teach him how being hurt really feels like, with his leather belt.

San's life has always been dark because of his father, the man who was supposed to love him, to buy him things and spoil him. only that he's the man who makes him want to end it all every single minute of the day.

San trembles as he is forced into a chair in an underground room, his heart pounding heavily as two servants restrain him against a chair. he's thrashing against their holds, fighting with all his might to escape but it's to no avail. his hands are bleeding from how hard he's been digging his nails into them and his heart hurts and he hates how Kim Seonghoon is staring at him with such smirk he can almost feel it cut him in pieces. San doesn't want to be here anymore, he doesn't want to be doing this. maybe he should've just left the company and never came back, hid somewhere dark or thrown himself into the deepest part of the ocean. he wants to be anywhere but here.