Not Too Late | Choi San

CHAPTER SIX

tonight i'm sad, tonight i'm lonely,
the demons are screaming, and i need you to hold me. - A.D.R.

•••

      "What's your favourite food, Sannie?" Yunho asks, his puppy-like eyes sparkling with curiosity as he looks at San, who's currently sitting next to him on the small van that's taking them to San's new dorm.

"uh, pizza," he answers with the most common thing he could think of, although he hadn't had pizza for over five years, he finds it easy to lie about these trivia things.

"ahh finally someone else who likes pizza!" Yunho looks excited and San doesn't really understand what's so exciting about this. "i've been craving one for way too long, let's get some together later!"

San nods, and his attention is brought to Hongjoong at the front of the van sitting with Mingi (who's completely ignoring everyone in the vehicle) when he addresses him.

"are you sure the stuff in your backpack will be enough for you?" he asks, "like, don't you want us to drop you home so you could pack a proper bag?"

San tastes something bitter in his mouth, swallowing down the reality of how this small backpack holds everything he owns in this world. his phone, a couple changes of clothes, his toothbrush that he used to use in public bathrooms with a tube of toothpaste that's pretty much overused, and a charger for the phone that he used to charge it on one of the stores he worked at. and that's all about it, that's San's life packed in a bag. he feels his chest tighten at the thought that he tries to dismiss quickly.

"i actually don't like using too many things," he lies, looking at Hongjoong's neck instead of his eyes, not wanting to lie straight to his face after the male has been nothing but nice and understanding towards him. "i think these will get me by, and i'll buy some more clothes later."

"right," Yunho holds a finger up, silencing them. "Gyuknim said your parents live in Australia, and i was wondering, are you half Aussie?"

holy shit, San thinks, words do travel fast in this small company.

"uh, no, i'm not," his night is now basically full of lies built upon lies, and he wants to crawl beneath the seat in front of him and hide until they don't have any interest in him. "they just work there, i guess."

"you guess?"

"we haven't been in contact lately," San half lies this time, "so i don't really know."

"oh, so you're not close with your parents?" Yunho inquiries further, making San start to fidget with his fingers nervously. he hates mentioning his parents, anything about them makes him feel more shitty than he does on normal bases. he really wants to end this conversation.

thankfully, Hongjoong notices San's nervous fidgeting and speaks up, "Yunho, it's not nice to ask too many personal questions, especially if they make others uncomfortable. let's leave it at that, we've already arrived anyways."

San thanks Hongjoong a thousand times in his head.

the dorm isn't as small as San has imagined it to be, although it isn't very spacious either. it has four rooms, with one room used as a storage room and the three others having a bunk bed each. Yunho shows San around the living room quickly, where there's a tv and a coffee table, two couches, and a few knick knacks, and then onto the joined kitchen, and although it's small, it's pretty full. toast packages here and there, a few cornflakes boxes scattered around, way too many dishes and a few empty ramen cups litter the counter, and in the overflowed pin there's way too many takeout boxes. San wonders if they're even allowed to eat all this unhealthy stuff when they're supposed to be on diet.