Not Too Late | Choi San

CHAPTER NINE

oh to love,
and to be loved.

•••

the park is deserted, not a single soul is there when the two young males arrive. San's heart clenches at all the memories this place holds as he sits down on the grassy floor, nearby a willow tree. his body shivers from the coldness but he doesn't care, his eyes casted upwards and his mind occupied with way too many things at the same time.

Mingi sits silently next to him, but far enough not to alert him. the younger of the two looks hesitant, guilty to some extent, and it takes him a while to speak, but when he does, the older can feel the sincerity basically spelling off of his words.

"i'm sorry."

a moment of silence. the world around them is quiet, as if it has fell asleep, the sky is shimmering with so many stars, and the trees are singing a symphony so beautiful and so calm. they're swallowed by the silence, and no one dares to utter another word for a long while.

"i didn't do anything illegal to get into the company," San says quietly, his eyes still casted upon the stars above. he for some reason felt the need to say it, to make Mingi believe he's a good person with good intentions and not some scumbag wanting to tear their dreams apart.

"i know," Mingi's voice is just as quiet. "and i know i was a sour jerk, so i'm sorry."

San hums. he can't really tell him it's okay, because it isn't, hating on him without a valid reason is just stupid.

"i just— i've been going through so much that i broke down at the most stupid thing," Mingi continues, "it was really stupid of me."

San understands, but he wouldn't say he would do the same. the burden of the whole world is on his back, but that doesn't mean he'll go around hating on people, but still, he understands.

"talking to Hongjoong hyung earlier made me realise i've been a shitty person," his words spell out of his mouth, and San listens closely. "he also told me about how he found you after the day i shouted at you first and i— i feel horrible."

wow, San thinks to himself. a heartfelt conversation was the last thing he thought he'd have with Mingi, especially in this park, but he lets the boy talk all he wants, get everything off of his chest.

"i'm not a bad person, i swear, but it's just—" he sighs and brushes his hair back. "look i'm truly sorry. you don't have to forgive me, i know it's too much to ask."

"do you think there's a purple star?" San asks, ignoring Mingi's last words. he doesn't trust the male yet, so he doesn't know whether to accept his apology or not. but he looks troubled, and guilty, and the older thought that a change of the topic was something both of them needed right now.

"what—" shocked, Mingi farrows his brows slightly. "a purple star?"

"mmhm. like a star that watches over us, the star that guards us," San explains, as his eyes search the canvas above their heads. "we were made of stardust, you know?"

"we were?" Mingi's eyes shine beneath the glittery sky, his lips pursed together in confusion.

"when stars exploded a million years ago," a voice in his head whispers the words sweetly to him, lovingly, and San echos them. "their dust spread all over the earth, and we humans were made of mud, that mud containing the dust of our own stars."

"wow," Mingi whispers, eyes travelling to the stars. "that means i have a guardian star? like a guardian angel or something?"

"yes," San affirms, his chest tightening as the words in his head fade into a beautiful and soft lullaby. "and your guardian star is your purple star."

"oh wow, i—" his hand reaches out for the sky, amusement and excitement filling his eyes. "this is so cool! how did you know?"

"someone special told me that," he stands up, dusting his pants and watching as Mingi follows his movements. "we should go back, the others must be looking for us."

Mingi nods with an awkward chuckle, "i think you just made me fall in love with the stars."

a small smile grazes upon San's face, and he walks quickly to hide it. Mingi follows him with a bounce to his steps, and this is the first time San doesn't feel too scared of him. maybe only a tiny bit.

"oh— and i didn't forgive you yet, you should work your way into deserving it."

Mingi whines, much like how Yunho does when he's annoyed, and San's smile doesn't drop as they walk side by side back to the company that's ten minutes away from the park (San hasn't really realised how close he was to the company up until now), and although there's still some space between them, it isn't as wide as before.

Yunho's like a teddy bear, and when he hugs someone, he hugs with all his heart— that's what San has figured out the moment he stepped into the practice room back with Mingi.

he felt crushed beneath the younger, uncomfortable and almost scared, so even though the younger was gentle and warm, he pushed him away, fear consuming his body, making his mind dizzy as he takes a step back.

"we thought you ran away!" Yunho exclaims with a pout, and Hongjoong emerges from behind the black couch (god knows what he was doing behind it) to stand next to Yunho. "you gave us quite the scare, Sannie!"

"i'm sorry," San scratches his neck, his head screaming at him to ask why would they even care if he really did run away, but he doesn't want to show his uncertainty and insecurities to them, not when he doesn't trust them fully, not yet. "i just went to search for my friend."

"don't you dare run away like that again," Hongjoong scolds, "as the oldest, i request to meet you in my room tonight to scold you properly."

San chokes, and Mingi beside him smiles evilly, whispering "good luck with that," to him quietly.

"i heard that Mingi," he side-eyes him, "you too meet me at my room after i finish with San."

Yunho struggles to hold his giggles, and San shoots him a glare.

"ok, now that San's back and we're all good, get back to practice!" Hongjoong claps his hands, and the three males groan as they begin stretching to continue on with their routines.

an— dont forget to vote and tell me what you think of the book so far in the comments!