Impossible (Mha fic)

Chapter 38

"Ugh, it's valentines day"

Plopping down into my usual seat at the cafeteria, I dump my lunch in front of me, mullions of muddled thoughts rebounding in my head, and today they are exceptionally agitating. It's all I can do to silently eat my sandwich, trying and failing to disregard the stray excitements and try to overtake my own. A sudden giddiness mixes with my displeasure, giving rise to a feeling of sickness with the terrible combination, only serving to make me feel less enthusiastic about today. I don't have much of a problem with Valentine's day, I love it even, or I loved it a great deal until I started attending school. I have learned that on these days kids are feeling the effect of romance and whatever puppy love they have going on in their lives and those feelings affect me like any other, only, it makes me sick. Now I'm sounding bitter and against love when in actuality I just can't handle that much giddiness and have to ignore the constant butterflies I would get from someone else. Some girl can't stop thinking about this one boy she is completely head over heels in love with. I'd say it's more a crush than anything. Another boy is struck with both conflict and joy when he thinks about one of his club members, not sure how to feel exactly; since the recipient of his admiration is a boy instead of a girl.

"You don't like Valentine's day?" Eijiro wonders, holding a bar of chocolate almost hesitantly and now I feel bad for making him feel anxious about giving me a gift.

"I do, I just can't stand the thoughts and emotions of the others on this day" I clarify to alleviate his worries and watch as he sighs, now happily offering me the chocolate he was so hesitant about just a moment later. His movement has his neckless peeping out from under his uniform, the silver gleam of it catching my attention and bringing a smile to my face. It's always nice to see him wearing it, especially nice when he treats it like the greatest treasure. Mina and I had gotten him a necklace and armband for his birthday in October, the little thing dangling from it is a little rock that I carefully carved to look like an R for riot. Mina purchased the neckless and armband and I did the carving. I found it was far harder than I had expected and ended with numerous cuts on my hand and fingers, regardless, the gift is something he seems to cherish greatly.

"My moms helped me make it" he explains as he slides the bar of chocolate towards me with this sweet toothy smile.

"Isn't he the sweetest?" Mina coos, her bar already half-eaten instead of the lunch she has spread before her. Her words have Eijiro laughing bashfully as his cheeks color pink.

"Hmm" yes he is, very sweet. I accept his gift with thanks, carefully storing it in my bag, sighing at the sight of the others I have amassed. "I have so much already"

"Really? I didn't know you had admirers" Mina perks with stars in her eyes. "You sly dog"

"Calm down" I wave her off. "Most of it is from the team" I explain, my teammates were more than happy to share gifts amongst each other and I got a bar from essentially everyone.

I think I'll make brownies with all of these.

"Most of them, so what about the others" Mina wiggles her brows with a knowing look and I roll my eyes.

Turns out, once I started interacting with my classmates and their preceding impression of me changed, a good few of them started to admire me for one reason or another. To be so blatantly aware of someone's feelings for me is somewhat odd, maybe a bit mortifying when I would hear their thoughts about me, or feel the happy emotions that come from me talking to them or just being around them.

"It looks like I'm likable enough," I say shrugging. "Some boy confessed to me this morning, a girl later in the day, had to turn them down. Do you know how hard it is to turn someone down? I didn't want to hurt their feelings"