kickin' it | femina bellator

64 | return of spyfall

"Hello, I'm President George Washington," a very unenthusiastic waiter said dressed in a George Washington costume, "welcome to Presidential Patties." The waiter threw a few menu's on the table, "Today's special is a Patriot Burger. 'I cannot tell a lie.' It's delicious."

After having won an essay contest in school Jack, Azalea and Milton got to go to Washington D.C. with Fundetburk as a prize. However, Azalea was rather suspicious about the trip because she knew that her boyfriend's essay was some dumb paragraph about how Martha Washington entertained the troops by burping the alphabet.

"So, what makes it a Patriot Burger?" Jack wondered.

"The tomato is red, the onion is white and the meat is blue," the waiter explained.

"I'll have the clams, they will have the special," Funderburk ordered for them while looking around the restaurant.

Azalea was about comment on how she didn't like that he ordered for her when she noticed how fidgety their principal was. Even more so than usual. "Are you all right, Funderburk?" she wondered, "You seem a little nervous."

"Yeah, of course he is nervous," Jack said, "He ordered the clams. It says right here on the menu. 'Clams may not be actual clams.'"

"Look, you guys know how you're always saying that I'm the greatest principal ever?" Funderburk said.

"We never say that," the trio said at the same time.

"The truth is," Funderburk leaned over the table to whisper, "I'm not actually a principal. I am a-" he didn't have time to finish before someone attacked him and much to their surprise Funderburk fought back.

Then a weird looking old man joined the fight. In the end Funderburk used a chair to hit his attacker and knock him to the ground, "As I was saying - I'm an undercover agent working for the government."

"Come again," Azalea said in disbelief.

"Thanks," Funderburk said to the old man that walked over, "Guys, this is Agent 34."

"You had some nice moves out there!" Jack yelled so the old man could hear him, "You are a spy old fella, aren't you?"

The old man grunted and Jack jumped back while Funderburk continued, "You guys are here because I'm putting together a team of teen spies and I need you three for a mission."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait," Milton said, "Does this mean we are not going to the Wax Museum of Presidential Dogs? Because I promised my mother a picture of Barbara Bush's beagle."

"That's what you are thinking right now?" Azalea asked in disbelief.

"Let's go. There will be more cyborgs," Funderburk told them.

"Cyborgs only exist in sci-fi movies-" Milton was interrupted when the man from earlier stood up again. But this time Funderburk quickly managed to overpower him and then he ripped open the man's shirt to reveal what seemed to be the cyborg's control center where he ripped out a cord, "Oh, yeah, no, that's a cyborg. Cyborg in the house, people."

Fundetburk started to lead them out of the restaurant when Azalea turned to Milton and Jack, "We just saw a real life cyborg - yet the most unrealistic thing today is that Funderburk is an undercover agent and not just an idiot."

☆★☆

When Funderburk led them to some kind of underground spy base Azalea was somewhere between freaking out and at complete loss of words.

"We are safe here," Funderburk told them, "This is an abandoned subway station I turned into my spy headquarters. It's covert, highly functional and rock solid," he punched the wall and some pieces fell off it, "Rock-solid-ish."