Jily One Shots

Feelings Journal

Dear feelings journal,

It's that time again. Lily and James' wedding anniversary. It was funny, Lily thought James would have a lot of trouble writing his vows, but it ended up taking about him five minutes.

James started crying before the minister even started talking. His voice cracked and warmly cooed. Fireworks sparked and sizzled between the young couple. It felt right to watch these two get married.

Because I knew what they had was true love. And if in this war anything was true it was them.

James vowed, "Lily Evans, I will love you 'til the end of time, there's no doubt about it. I have pursued you since third year. I vow to always be there when you need someone and when you don't. I vow to love you more and more every day. I vow to protect you from harm. I vow to protect you until my dying breath. And Evans, I love you."

But James was always so honest. He never ever lied to Lily. How did he know? Did he know that was exactly what he was going to do? I don't know. I hope not. I hope he thought he would live long with her by his side. For that to be real somewhere, even if just in his dreams. 

James thought that if he sacrificed himself, Lily and Harry would be saved. That maybe somewhere in that monster was a soul. But James had seem him do too many things to think his son would survive. His wife would survive. God what was he thinking then?

But he fought, not with magic. Because good ol' James who always forgets his wand places, left it in the kitchen. So he was prepared to fight with fists against the dark lord. He couldn't even win a fight against one of us without his wand. 

He might not have known the future but he lived by those vows.

Lily smiled back, crying now, "James Potter, I never thought this day would come. I didn't think you would be so persistent. I can imagine us sixty years from now surrounded by our grandchildren telling them about how many times you hit one me. I can imagine myself sitting for hours being content with the moments we've shared. So James, I vow to you that we will have millions of moments together. I know deep down we will have lifetimes of moments."

But you know what they had, feelings journal? They had a year. One year together. One year's worth of moments.

And I would trade my life for theirs. I would trade it in an instant because the thought of James in another life without Lily is like the world without life. Is he always searching? Searching for someone he doesn't know but needs. 

And I am all alone now. With you of course, feelings journal. Sirius is in Azkaban and Peter was killed. James and Lily are dead. Frank and Alice are not in their bodies anymore.

Maybe next year will be better. I doubt it.

Sincerely,

Remus Lupin