The Secret The Cheerleader Doesn't Know

The Start PT. 10

For the upcoming chapters, there will be many references to abuse (all kinds - even sexual abuse), suicide/depression, drug use, and victim blaming. Please do not read the next few chapters unless you are mentally prepared to face those topics. In a later chapter, I will post what was discussed and explain what happened in a non-detailed version for those who choose to skip those chapters.

This chapter holds such topics. Please be cautious about your mental state before reading.

Jennifer's Pov

We were texting everyday.  Sometimes he would send me gifs and little jokes from time to time.  I found myself enjoying his messages... actually looking forward to it.  He liked many things I liked: watching sports, family, having iced water, sunsets, and cloudy weather.  He and I both wanted to go to the west... I even started imagining our lives there.

We went on dates and got to know one another, then he asked me out.

We were happy and excited... especially when I got a job out in California.

We moved into a big house. I worked hard to support him because he gave everything up to move out here. We spent our lives happily and loving...

And we even got pregnant.

But I lost the baby.

For months we tried... over and over, but the more we failed to conceive the more I wanted to stay away. I drove myself mad with work and decided to avoid him.

I blamed him.

It has to be him. I was able to conceive... it's him.

And while I was away and avoiding him, he fell for another.

And they got pregnant.

"I want a divorce."

My happy life.

Our happy story.

It came to an end.

And at work, I drove myself deeper and deeper into the stacks. Hoping to god I could forget his smiling face... him in general.

Then Antonia came into my sight.

And I won't fuck up again.

~

Walking into the office, I brought the usual drinks - one for me and one for Antonia. Up the elevator and to her desk, I was shocked to see it empty.

"She took a month off," Jeremiah said, startling me a little.

"A month?" Could she be handling the divorce? I should call. Taking out my phone, I looked for her contact.

"Her phone is off," he said again, "Jaelynn told me."

I glared at him, curious, "Bur you didn't try to call her, did you?"

"Why would I call to bother someone?" He glared back, "I'm not you."

Chuckling, I slipped my phone into my back pocket, "Oh really? Aren't you getting a little too close to that girl... Jaelynn right?"

"She's like a sister to me," he said, "I've watched her grow up. It doesn't matter if she had or has feelings for me. I love Norma and I won't allow anyone to come in between us. Plus, she understands I'm happily married... and she respects me."

"Now you're implying I don't respect Ani?"

"You don't respect anyone," he said, "I don't think you can think of anyone but yourself." I just laughed at him. He was all talk, but no walk.

Placing the coffee on his desk, I said, "Enjoy."

He walked over and tossed it, "I don't want or need anything from you."

And I walked away.

Ani Pov

Today I woke up first.

Cassie was still asleep in our bed. I decided to sleep in the guest room across the hall. She was always a messy sleeper. Legs spread out, drool and hair all crazy. One could say, she was an interesting girl.

As I stared at her, flashbacks of us before marriage... before Cassie could completely control herself. I would watch her sleep often. I liked it. It seemed as if that was the only time she was relaxed... that she could breathe.

Suddenly I heard soft footsteps outside our door and decided to go see who it was. Jaelynn was leaving for school... trying her hardest to stay quiet. "She's a light sleeper but when she's drooling she's out hard," I mumbled.

She glanced over, then shifted her eyes away, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking work off for a month," I said, catching her attention, "Cassie will be gone for that month. She said she needs to do some stuff."

"So you kicked her out?" Her hands gripped her laptop tightly. I could tell because her knuckles were white.

"No," I said, "she wants time to figure some things out."

She stared at me, analyzing me. I knew she was studying the mind and body, but it was adorable that she thought she was far enough along to read me. I've been doing this for years... I hide my emotions well.

Except recently I've been a train wreck.

"And you?" She asked.

"I'm figuring out what I want," I said.

"Choosing between mama or Jennifer?" She practically spat out her name.

"Sorta," I shrugged.

"Then just leave," her coldness... it was identical to mine, "I told you to leave mama alone. To stop fucking with her."

"And she's my wife," I said, "the child does not get a say in what I do or want."

"Such abuse dialogue," she replied, making me cringe with anger, "I'm sick of looking at you. Just go. We don't need you, especially mama. She's fine by herself."

"You don't speak for me Jaelynn," we both were taken by surprised when Cassie spoke up. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning a bit, "Neither of you do. I'm a grown ass adult... I am 36 years old... I can speak for myself."

Jaelynn fought the urge to fight. I could tell just by looking at her face, "Fine." And then walked off for class.

"Stop riling her up," she said, "she has a big heart and it hurts her to fight with you."

"Then she shouldn't argue," I mumbled.

"Or maybe you should just listen," she said, making me sigh, "she's angry right now, but even if she's angry, she'll sit down and listen. She's very mature."

I looked over at her, seeing her smile. It's odd. A few days ago, I would have hated seeing her smile.... it would have infuriated me.

But all I want is to see it more.

Bloop bloop blooooooooop!