A Piece Of My Life (Captain Swan)

Chapter 28

It happened slowly..well, as slowly as a week for a newly wedded couple could go, and then one morning Emma had gone to the bathroom one morning before Killian was awake and came back to the bedroom to see him fumbling for a light switch that was already turned on. His eyes stared with seeing at the wall next to him.

"Is everything alright?" She asked cautiously, almost afraid to come closer.

He shook his head, "It's too dark, and I can't get this blasted light on. Can you turn on the overhead light?" The bedside lamp was on and light was flooding through the curtains; she could see him just fine. Understand struck her down like a lightning bolt and she took a shaky intake of breath before coming to sit down beside him.

Emma took his hand in her's. "The light is on," she tried gently. The pained look on his face was too much to bear and she had to look away for a moment. "We knew this was coming, but we should probably go to the hospital."

"I can't see, Em," he whispered, gazing straight through her.

She put a hand to his cheek, "It's going to be okay. I'm going to grab some clothes." Picking a tee shirt and a pair of sweats out of the drawer, she helped him feel his way into them and then changed out of her pajamas. She got Rae up next and started feeding her; they'd need to drop her off at her mom's.

Getting down the few steps to the driveway took some maneuvering. A baby in one arm, and her husband holding on for dear life on the other, but eventually they made it to the car and everyone was buckled. They drove to Mary Margaret and David's apartment home first and dropped off Rae before going to the hospital.

Emma parked and then pulled the wheelchair from the truck. Opening the passenger door, she helped Killian sit and then started pushing them towards to double doors. His hand came up by his shoulder and she squeezed it quick.

Ana, upon seeing them, immediately set them up in an examination room and preformed some eye exams. The diagnosis was obvious, Killian was blind, but she's needed some kind of confirmation.

"I'll be right back," Emma said to him after Ana had apologized and left. She caught up with the nurse just a few rooms down. "So what now?" She asked.

Ana looked at her with sorrow, "You know 'what now'. He's underweight, in pain, and he can't see. You know what's next, just please don't make me say it." Emma had taken to trying to ignore most of this, all it did was make her cry.

Confirmation. That's what she needed. "Please."

Ana sighed and rubbed her arm. "This is the end. Go home and keep him comfortable, it won't be long."

-/-

They did go home and ended up on the couch listening to music as Emma thought the television wouldn't have been appropriate with the recent events. Her back was against the armrest of the couch, and Killian was laying on her chest; he was so fail and all bones now that it hurt her when he moved. They were curled up together with a blanket draped overtop of them as she ran her fingers through his hair to make sure he knew she was awake.

"Is it going to hurt?" She heard his voice just barely above a whisper.

Holding him tighter, she shook her head and then realized he couldn't see her. "I won't let it," she promised as a tear slid down her face. Though she wasn't sure how to not, there had to be a way.

"I don't want to forget you when it comes time, but I might." It was true, he'd already been forgetting where his clothes were and when he woke up in the morning, he wasn't sure who she was. It took her about twenty minutes to coax him off a panic the day before, and get him to realize what was going on.

Another tear. "I know, but I won't go anywhere. I'll be here until..until the end."

"Em?"

"Hm?"

"Please don't let our beautiful daughter forget me."

"Never." More tears, a whole waterfall actually. She tried to keep her breathing steady so he wouldn't catch on, but he knew her too well. His hand felt around her hers and squeezed when he'd found it.

"I love you, Swan, I'm so sorry."

Emma kissed the top of his head, "I love you, too." Never would she miss an opportunity to tell him.

-/-

Sleep hadn't come easily for either of them that night, but finally Emma had slipped off into a dark world. Mary Margaret had brought Rae over later that afternoon, but had insisted on staying the night to help out. She was now sleeping in the guest bedroom.

Her hand was intertwined with her husband's; he had insisted so that if he woke up, he'd know where she was. Around three or four in the morning, usually about the time her daughter woke up, Emma felt a strange wetness coming to her palm. Sitting up and taking her hand from his, she pulled back the covers to reveal and dark pool around Killian's midsection. Groaning, she got out of bed and went around to the other side to wake him.

He was utterly mortified when she explained what had happened, and she wasn't so worse for wear. The first thing she's done was help him out of his soiled clothes in the bathroom and get some new ones on him after helping him clean himself. She set him up in the living room hospital bed while she stripped the bed next.

No one had warned her about this, but she knew when people started to go, that sometimes they lost control of their bodily functions as well. It happened once morning during the day as she was feeding Rae. Killian had been sleeping and all of the sudden, woke up with beet red features and she knew.

After cleaning up the mess, she had called Ana at the hospital who had only one practical, and mortifying, solution. Emma asked her mother to help her out and when she's returned with the package, she'd left. She didn't blame her mother, she couldn't even imagine how this would go.

"And there goes any last shred of dignity I had," He muttered when she's explained it. "A grown-ass man wearing a diaper like his month old daughter." Killian didn't fight her on it, which was the only positive that came out of the situation, and she had helped him into one.

That night, he laid as far away from her as he could without falling off the bed. They were both embarrassed and upset about the day's events.

Emma reached her hand out and touched his back lightly, a peace offering, but he shied away.

"Killian.."

A sigh. "Em...I can't."

"Please talk to me," she begged.

He rolled over and stared through her. "I'm not the man I once was," he whispered brokenly.

"And still you're the only man I need." Whatever it was broke down his walls in that moment, she was grateful. Seeing them crumble, she slid closer to him and draped an arm over his side. Emma put her other hand on the side of his face. "Is it okay if I kiss you?" A nod.

Slowly, she moved her face closer and touched her nose to his so he'd know where her face was, and then pressed her lips forward. His lips were soft as ever and still as steady, one thing that hadn't changed.

"I love you as whatever man you think you are because, to me, you haven't changed."