A Mercenaries Love (A Hobbit Fan Fiction)

Chapter 6- Dwarves for Dinner

Adisa's Pov

We were stuffed into bags. That's all I'm going to say. Sadly I could say it wasn't the first time either. I had been placed half on Kili and half on another dwarf, who I couldn't see because only their bottom half was showing.

Ava was not too happy about being thrown half over Thorin. They, ah, weren't exactly the best of friends. I wiggled around in my bag trying to escape my small dungeon. All I managed was to kick a poor dwarf in the face.

"Are you all right, Adisa" Ava calls out concernedly.

"I'm ok, but I won't say the same for the dwarf I'm on. Sorry whoever it is" I apologise.

All I hear in reply is a muffled sound as they attempt to talk.
I stifle a laugh as we overhear the trolls arguing over how to cook us.

"Don't bother cooking any of em, lets just sit on em and squash them into jelly" I hear a troll say.

"They should be sautéed" Another troll says.

"And grilled with a sprinkle of sage" The third one adds in.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night" A troll complains.
"Dawn ain't far away. I don't fancy being turned to stone."

"Wait!" Bilbo suddenly cries out.
"You are making a terrible mistake."

What are you doing Bilbo? They're trolls, they don't see any sense. My horse is smarter than they are.

"You can't reason with em they're half wits" Dori yells out.

"Well then, what would that make us?" Bofur argues.

"I meant with the uh, the uh, seasoning" Bilbo says as he stands up and shuffles closer to the trolls.

"What" A troll asks confused.

"Well have you smelt them, your going to need something stronger than sage to plate this lot up" Bilbo says indicating to us.

"Hey, I don't smell, your mum smells" I say rudely. How dare he say I smelt. I am proud to say that I am a very clean dwarf. Thanks to living with Ava for many of my years.

"Traitor" A dwarf calls out. As the other dwarves also call out their own many insults.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf" A troll says.

"Shut up and let the flurgaburbra-hobbit talk" complains a troll.

"Ahh, the secret to cooking dwarf is to, umm" Bilbo says as he tries to come up with an idea.

"Come on" A troll says impatiently.

"Ah, the secret is to, umm, skin them first!" Bilbo says as the idea finally comes to him.

The dwarves cry out and even more insults are thrown at Bilbo. I think I heard Ava say something about where Bilbo can stick it, but I would rather not repeat it.

"What a load of rubbish, I've eaten plenty with their skins on" A troll says.

"He's right" The other one agrees.
"Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf" he continues as he picks Bombur up by his feet and dangles him over his open mouth. "Nice and crunchy" he says as he's about to take a bite out of Bombur. My heart clenches as i've only just been reunited with my father and he doesn't even know i'm his daughter yet.

"No! No! Not that one! He's infected!" Bilbo cries out suddenly.

"Huh, you what?" The troll says as he hesitates his current meal.

"Yeah, he's got worms in his tubes!" Bilbo blurts out. The troll cries out in disgust before dropping Bombur, right on top of me and Kili. We cry out in pain, as the life is squished out of us but I let out a sigh of relief, my father is alright.