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CAN'T SIT STRAIGHT fluff warning! use of gay slurs requested by sweetgeesus as a bisexual girl, this one hit close to home, but i hope it's written in a way you can enjoy! ✟
It all started back in 1983, when my friends and I went to go see Return of the Jedi, and I saw Carrie Fisher in that metal bikini. I thought nothing of these feelings at first. I thought it was normal for women to find other women attractive. But when I brought it up to my friends, they didn't seem to agree.
"God, didn't Princess Leia look so hot in that slave outfit?" I asked as we left the theatre.
"Ew, what? No! She looked like a slut!" My friend Stacy said crudely.
"Yeah, I don't know why Carrie Fisher would agree to wear that. She clearly doesn't respect herself, only a skank would wear that sort of thing in front of so many guys." Kitty agreed.
"I wasn't paying attention," Donna said. "I was too busy looking at Han Solo!" All of us gushed over the mention of the swashbuckling space pirate.
"Okay but seriously Y/N, why were you looking at Princess Leia? Are you like a fucking dyke or something?" Stacy asked.
"STACY!" Kitty, Donna and I shouted, much to her dismay.
"What? They call themselves that!"
"Yeah! They call themselves that, and you're not one of them!" Donna said. "Unless of course there's something you're not telling us?"
"What?! No! I'm not fucking gay! Shut up, Donna!"
✟
After that interaction, I thought it was best never to bring up my feelings for Carrie Fisher (or any woman for that matter) ever again, at least not when Stacy was around, which lucky for me wasn't much longer. As Stacy's sense of humour turned into mild racism and homophobia, Kitty, Donna and I all agreed to stop hanging out with her. With Stacy gone, I slowly built up the courage to tell my friends about my attraction to women.
Donna was far more accepting than Kitty was at first. I guess as a black woman, she understood oppression better than anyone and knew it wasn't fair to cast someone out simply because they didn't "fit in" with what society deemed acceptable. Kitty came around quickly though, and told me that she was sorry about her initial reaction being so insensitive.
I was lucky to have two amazingly supportive friends by my side throughout my journey of discovery. If it wasn't for Kitty, I wouldn't even know what bisexuality was. For the longest time, I just said I was half lesbian.
✟
Eventually, however, Donna, Kitty and I drifted apart and went our separate ways. I knew that when I came to LA, I'd have to find new friends and eventually I'd have to tell them about my sexual identity. Thank god I found Jean and Elaine, and thank god they were such angels about it. But the first boyfriend I had when I came here wasn't. When I told him, he called me slurs and said I was just a gay ass whore who can't make up her mind. So I kicked his ass out of my apartment, up one street and down the other. But after that, I was afraid to come out to any of my other male partners, so I never did. I never told any of my girlfriends because I felt it was kinda redundant.
✟
"But then I met you Axl, and I'm telling you now, as a woman who loves you, and hopes you love her enough to accept her, that I am bisexual."
"Well, I knew that," Axl said with a smirk.
"What?! You knew this whole time and you never said anything?!"
"I didn't think it was a big deal." He shrugged. "I know homosexuality or bisexuality or being trans or whatever isn't a choice, neither is heterosexuality. But I also know that we love each other and that I have nothing to worry about."
"So... you're not mad or anything?" I asked meekly.
Axl just smiled, grabbed me by the hips and pulled me down onto his lap making me squeal. "Of course not. I love you, and everything about you." He lifted my chin and kissed me deeply, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same amount of passion. "Now what do you say we watch Return of the Jedi and cuddle?"
I couldn't help but giggle at his suggestion. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."
