I Carry Your Heart [Harry Styles]

Chapter 23

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains violence, abuse and self harm

Five Years Ago-Camilla

Drip, drip, drip.

I sit on the edge of the bathtub, watching the basin tap drip repetitively.

I'm currently in my on-suite bathroom, which must be one of the ugliest rooms in my parents' house. I think my grandmother had it decorated in the 1970's and it hasn't been touched since. It has a jarring baby pink porcelain bathroom suite, and the walls are covered with the most garish floral wallpaper, stare at it long enough and you'll end up nauseas.

It's no wonder I'm not feeling my best right now, but that might be due to another reason entirely I think, as I glance over to the small plastic pregnancy test currently sitting on the toilet tank. Kim, our cook kindly bought it for me, thankfully no questions asked and I am currently waiting for my phone timer to go off, indicating I can look at the result.

Harry left about a month and half ago, and it's been one of the worst times of my life. I miss him desperately and I have been stuck at the estate under my fathers' watchful eye. And to top it off, I am feeling really nauseas and my period is a couple of weeks late.

Just then my phone pings loudly, and before I can second guess myself, I quickly grab the test and look at it.

Fuck, I realise, my stomach dropping, I am fucking pregnant. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

After looking at the result for a few minutes, I slowly drop to the floor, my back against the bath. I sit staring at the wallpaper, listening to the dripping tap again, wondering how I managed to get myself in such a mess.

I eventually lie down uncomfortably on the cold tiled bathroom floor, it's not like I have anywhere to be, and I am so so tired. I have been struggling to sleep and eat recently and I feel on edge and close to breaking point.

My mind starts to spin. How could I be so stupid, I berate myself: I'm seventeen, alone and pregnant. I can't believe I have fucked up so badly, we always used a condom but I wasn't on the pill. And I can't tell Harry. He will be on the next train back to Rye and he only just left. I

will not let him come back.

Suddenly there is hammering on my bedroom door and standing up in a panic I hear my father shout "Camilla?".

"Y..yes?" I answer.

"Please come to the drawing room right away, your mother and myself need to talk to you" he says, before I hear him stomping away.

"Shit! Just what I need" I say to myself as I splash some water on my face, my hands shaking and my heart beating fast.

Smoothing my messy hair down, I open the bathroom door and drag myself downstairs to talk to my parents.

"Ah Camilla, there you are" My father says coldly.

"Hello Father. Mother" I reply as I take a seat, struggling to find the energy to be polite.

My mother barely acknowledges me with a nod.

"We have noticed you moping around here recently and your mother and myself agree that you need to get out and socialise.

I look up, foolishly hoping I will be able to see Matt and Kath, when my father continues "We have arranged for you to go to the polo with Lord and Lady Beresford tomorrow. Their son Freddie is around your age, attends Eton and is a wonderful prospect for you"