Chapter 46: Forever

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Clarke stood outside the church, pacing back and forth. Lincoln had been inside the church for close to 45 minutes and he still hasn't emerged from the church doors. They had been to Lincoln's high school friends home, asking him if his friend's father could help on such short notice. So here Clarke stood, waiting anxiously. If he didn't work, then she would have to search the entire Portland for a priest which would be close to near damn impossible. Clarke couldn't wait to get married. She wished that she was still seated beside Lexa, rubbing soothing circles around her back, kissing her forehead, taking in her lover's vanilla and honey smell and playing with her hair. She had called her parents a couple of times since she left, just to ensure that they were keeping watch on her. Of course Abby had thrown a fit for calling every 15 minutes and she eventually stopped calling.

"Clarke. We got him alright. Said he would be free only after 6pm. So we got 3 hours to go. Any place in mind you need to go before we head back to the hospital?"

"Lincoln, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure. What's up?

"Is this the right decision to make? I mean getting married and all today? What if Lexa backs out last minute? What if I screw up last minute? What if my vows sucks and I mess up everything?"

"Hey slow down girl! Why so jittery all of a suddenly? 20 minutes ago you were squealing happily. Please tell me you ain't getting cold feet. Octavia would have my head and Anya would have my balls if shit like that happened to you. Come on, spill it. What is really troubling you?"

Clarke was actually afraid of coming back to an empty bed. That she didn't get to tell Lexa how much she loved her still and would have wanted to be by her side. That's why she was afraid. That Lexa would be all alone. Without her.

"I'm afraid Linc. I just can't shake the thought away that I would come back to an empty bed."

"Hey hey. Chill out. Lexa is strong. Just like Anya. She will make it. Trust me. You gurl, are going to get back to the hospital, kiss her and say your vows and then make out in bed." He ruffles her hair and Clarke could only laugh at the sweet man before her.

"I guess you're right. I wonder what the rest are doing at the moment..."

"Let them be. For now, we get back to the hospital, get ready and while waiting, you can spend some quality time with Lexa. Cool?"

So they did drive back to the hospital, excitement and fear both running through her veins as they drove back. Clarke couldn't believe she was getting married looking like this, but Lexa was looking worse and she couldn't give a damn about it anyway. She loved Lexa and that's all she cared about. So making their way into the elevator, Clarke taps on the button impatiently as the elevator mad it's way up. Jumping out, Clarke walks as fast as she could to Lexa's room and finds her still in the same position, asleep. Jake and Abby left a note, saying that they just left for home to grab a few things and change their clothes before heading back and Clarke thanked them in her heart. Padding over quietly, she sits on the edge of the bed lightly and places a soft kiss to Lexa's forehead.

"Mmmmm your back." Clarke smiled at the soft loving voice that greeted her even in her groggy slumber.

"Always back in a flash for you. How you feeling?"

"Tired. My chest still hurts. Oh... and some nurse came in earlier and flirted with me. You can kill her for me later by claiming me as your wife." Lexa's eyes were still closed but she pulled a smirk, making Clarke scowl.

"What's her name? How dare she hit on you. I'm going to murder her and..."

"Shhhhhhhhh... don't care about her. I only want you."

Clarke then stares into Lexa's green orbs, pulling a cheeky smile that actually warms her aching heart from the pain. Clarke bends down to kiss her wife to be, smiling lovingly into their kiss. Lexa sighs in happiness, enjoying how she could wake up every time to see the beautiful blonde staring back at her. She wanted to ask Clarke what she had planned, but she knew she had to wait for she wasn't in the best of conditions to argue and so she let it slide.

"And her name is Alycia. If you're wondering."

"Rude. You just spoiled the mood Lex." Clarke sits up to swat Lexa's arm which was free, and Lexa all but rolled her eyes.

"You love me too much to not forgive me." Lexa sticks her tongue out before Clarke settles into a comfier position by taking off her jacket and boots before sliding underneath the covers on the bed and placing her head on Lexa's shoulders as the laid down together.

Lexa rested her head on Clarke's shoulders leaning in as much as possible to relish in the feel of her wife to be. This felt like home. They didn't need fancy houses or fancy things in their life to be this way. They only needed each other. Just laying there gave them a sense of home, a sense of security and a sense of peace. No one had ever made them feel like this accept each other. And they were truly lucky to have met each other. And Lexa drifted back into sleep shortly after, and Clarke decided to pass time before her friends came back and before the priest shows up, she took out her sketchbook and began tracing the outlines of Lexa's sleeping figure. She looked so peaceful, somewhat wrapped up in a halo sent down from heaven. Clarke traced the lines of her pencil around the page, sketching in every tiny detail of her beautiful wife to be. Clarke stopped to have a look at her again, a small frown coming to her face. What if I hadn't walked away last night? What if I stayed and listened to her? Would she be in this predicament right now? Who she even suffer a heart attack because of her emotions that ran through her. Clarke still couldn't get rid of the guilt that resided in her heart. Lexa may have forgiven her, but it was still because of her that she ended up here. She would have been better if she didn't walk away.

"You're thinking too hard love." Lexa soft voice startles her and she immediately sets her sketch pad down.

"I'm fine Lex."

"No. You're not. You still think that me being here is your fault." Lexa could see right through her eyes. She was never a good liar.

"I'm sorry Lexa. I just.."

"You do realize none of this was your fault right? It was bound to happen sooner or later. My heart was already a ticking time bomb Clarke. It was only a matter of time before it failed anyway. There's nothing you can do now. But just wait."

Clarke knew it was true. Lexa was so far ahead in the disease that none of them could do anything until a new heart arrives so that they could operate on her. "I know Lexa. It's just eating away at me and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You believed what you had to believe. But you came back. That's all that matters."

And again that warm smile that Clarke always loved formed on Lexa's lips.

"HEY LOVEBIRDS! WERE GOOD TO GO."

The squeals from their friends in the doorway was more than enough to let them know that the priest had arrived earlier than expected and Clarke took a deep breath before smiling down at Lexa.

"I love you Clarke."

"I love you too Lexa. Forever."

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End of Chapter 46

xx Alex

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