30 Days Fiancé

Chapter 41: Losing You

"Jaha... she needs a heart transplant. Pumping her with meds isn't going to keep her alive any longer. You have her medical records. So do something." Abby yelled at her friend and co-worker.

"It's not as simple as that Abby. This girl is so far down the road, even if we did get the heart and operate, she took a full 360 degree swing and she's in bad shape. She's too weak to be operated on. It would be a miracle if she even did survive the surgery."

"At least try for god sakes Jaha. If I have to sell my soul to the devil, I would. But she needs that transplant Jaha."

"Fine. Due to her blood type, we expanded our resources out of the country and with luck, we found one that is perfect for her. Only issue is that it takes us time to bring it over which will take at least the next 24 hours and then we have to increase her meds to ensure that she will be strong enough for surgery. Once it is in, we proceed ahead. But I ask that you stay out of the surgery Abby."

"What? Why?"

"She's your daughter in law. And I can't have you panicking over her when something goes wrong. Not saying it will but we hope for the best. Okay?"

Abby sighs and forces a nod, shaking his hand before exiting the office. She walks down the hallway and into Lexa's room, checking all the monitors and the drips that were sliding down into the needles that were lodged in her arm. Lexa was still out, knowing whatever caused her to have a mild heart attack made her weak. The effects of it would be far worse when she wakes up for chest pain would be inevitable.

Abby stared at the heart monitor, Lexa's irregular heartbeat slowing down slightly, ensuring that the young woman was falling into deep sleep, and she slipped away silently out the door. She won't be awake for a long while, the medication knocking her out completely, and a bomb explosion wouldn't even wake her up. She took a seat in the chair outside her room and rested her head against the window to Lexa's room. She wondered what happened that caused Lexa to have a mild heart attack. The instantaneous stress that was placed upon her and that's what caused the mild heart attack. She hoped and prayed Clarke had nothing to do with this. But then again, why else would be the cause of it if it wasn't her daughter herself. Abby didn't want to pin point blames and so she waited patiently until the rest would arrive.

An hour later, Abby woke to the touch of her husband's hand on her shoulders, and she smiled before looking over at the rest of the girls. Anya's eyes were sore and red, Raven looking sad and disappointed, Octavia and Lincoln had worry in their eyes, and Clarke, she was lost in her own world.

"How is she?" Jake spoke for the group.

"Not good. She suffered a mild heart attack which could have been worse, but with luck, we managed to get her here and give her Nitro-glycerin, it helps to keep the blood flowing and keep her heart pumping for now. But she's really weak. It's estimated that she won't make it without a heart transplant in the next few days, so we are doing our best to get one for her. It's a longshot but we he have to hope for the best."

No words were said and only nods were given, Abby sighs and lets the group enter. However, Clarke stands outside the door, not wanting to go in and Jake pulls her aside along with her mother.

"I think it's time we had a long talk shall we?" Clarke nods and closes the door to the room and walking down the hallway with her parents.

Jake explains what actually happened, the conversation between Nia and Clarke, what happened between Costia and Lexa, and the assumptions made by Clarke and leaving a heartbroken Lexa behind. Abby understands now as to why Lexa was worked up, trying to tell Clarke about her condition but it backfired and now her daughter was wrecked with guilt.

"Clarke... out of all reasons, why did you trust her and not Lexa? That woman had always been a skank."

"Mom I swear I didn't know. Lexa had been hiding things and I assumed that she was lying and I don't know... I thought..."

"Kiddo... your mother and I knew about your relationship with Lexa. We knew it was all a scam, a fake. But your mother and I believed so well that you two were in love because Lexa, she may have hid the fact that she's suffering from a heart disease, but I also know she is a woman who never lies. I have worked with her before Clarke. She has no interests in buying over someone else's building or company or whatever." Clarke had tears streaming down her face and Abby decided to tell Clarke about Lexa's mother.

"Lexa's mother was somewhat on the last list of patients waiting for a transplant. When her mother died, it took away the hope she had left in her heart. And when she found out she was going to share the same fate as her mother, Lexa gave up all hope. Because she believed that if her mother didn't get the chance to live, then so did she. But your friends believed that by her falling in love with you, she would change her mind. And she did. Because she loves you and she wants to stick around for as long as she can. With you. She loves you Clarke. More than you know it."

"I'm so sorry mom. Dad. I never meant for it to turn into this I swear."

"We're not angry kiddo. But we do want to see you happy. With her. She deserves you just as you deserve her." Jake gives a warm smile and hugs his daughter, her tears and sobs wracking into his shoulders. Abby wraps her arms around the two, rubbing her back and kissing her head.

Clarke was guilty. Lexa would never hurt her. Lexa would never lie to her. She was just afraid. Afraid that Clarke would walk away. But when she did tell, I walked away from her. She must've been so alone. And I did exactly what Costia did. Leave her all alone. Anya doesn't hate me but she's still angry with me. Raven is angry too. Because they tried so hard to get them together, and this was how Clarke treated Lexa. By thinking that she was using her health as an excuse. God how wrong I was to think that. Clarke moves away from her parents, wiping the tears of her face and walking away down the hallway to Lexa's room.

Clarke stood outside the door, holding the handle of the door, thinking about the things she was going to say, to do when she entered the room. So she took a deep breath and walked in, Anya's red eyes turning to her immediately. Clarke stands there, fearing that she would be ushered out of the room but the reverse happens. Anya stands up from the chair, walks over to her and hugs her, before leaving the room. Raven was next, placing her hand on Clarke's shoulders and leaving the room, followed by Octavia and Lincoln, giving her hugs and closing the door behind her.

Clarke looked at the woman lying in bed, a tube running down her throat, her body so frail, her face pale and with the looks of death hovering around her. But yet still so strong, so beautiful. Clarke walked over slowly, her eyes focused on the heart rate monitor that beeped. It was definitely irregular, but at least, she was still alive. That's what counted. Taking a seat near the edge of the bed, Clarke takes Lexa's hand in hers and kisses it over and over again. She kisses the inside of her palms, hoping that in her sleep, Lexa could feel the pain and sorrow, the sorries and the I miss yous all into the palm of her hand.

"God Lexa... I'm so so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. To leave you there all alone. I'm so sorry baby. I should have trusted you. I shouldn't have doubted you for a second. You tried to tell me and I... I just walked away. I promised I wouldn't but I did. I'm sorry. If you can hear me now Lex... I am so sorry. If I have to do everything to win your heart back... I would. But just don't give up yet. And come back to me. Please come back... please..."

Clarke starts crying again, laying herself down beside Lexa and holding onto her hand for dear life. She needed her to wake up. To tell her everything she feels. To tell her that she wants her to live because she can't without her. Clarke hoped and prayed that she didn't leave her so soon.

For she realized now, she couldn't live without her.

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End of Chapter 41

xx Alex