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(Male You) Your POV
"Get up, Y/N. Have you taken a look at yourself lately? Your face is breaking out and you're putting on a lot of weight. I know dad died and it fucking hurts, but you can't let yourself go like this, baby boy," my older brother, Myron, said standing over me.
"I don't want to. I just want my dad," I said and he turned on the light. He pulled me out of the bed and made me stand up.
"Cry," he said.
"What? No, I'm not crying," I said.
"Why not? What's wrong with crying?"
"I'm a man."
"Bullshit. If you were a man, you'd be able to let yourself grieve instead of throwing yourself away like this. If you were a man, you'd know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with crying at all. You're not a man because you can't do things that real men do. It's been two years. Get over it," he replied and I started to get angry.
"Fuck off," I said.
"Keep running away from your feelings. You're such a man right. Matter of fact, you're just like dad. All you know how to do is run away and hid when shit gets a little tough."
"Don't talk about my dad like that. He was the only one in this fucking family to ever care about anything I did. He was the one taking me to therapy. He was the only that talked me out of all the suicide attempts. Don't you dare talk about him like that," I said with angry tears rolling down my cheeks. He looked at me and I crumbled.
"It's okay. I got you," he said as I violently sobbed in his arms.
"I miss him so much," I replied and he sighed.
"I know, baby. I know," he mumbled rubbing my back. After what seemed like hours, I had cried myself into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I showered and went downstairs to my kitchen. I threw all of the junk food away and sent my brother my grocery list. I went to my dermatologist appointment, my esthetician appointment and my dentist appointment that my brother had made for me. I had to go to the pharmacy to get my medicines and shit that they prescribed for me. When I got back home, Myron was there putting away the groceries he had made for me.
"Come on. Get changed," Myron said throwing clothes at me. I went into my bathroom and changed my clothes. I went back downstairs and went to the in home gym we had.
"Gonna stretch," he said and we began stretching, but I couldn't touch my toes like I was previously able to.
"Fuck," I mumbled and just stretched out different ways.
"Treadmill," he said sternly and I got up with his help of course.
"Gonna start off with one mile. You think you can handle that?" he asked me.
"Yeah, I think so," I said and he started the treadmill. I started running and felt like passing out almost immediately.
"You got it," he said to me and I swear I felt like death.
"You almost there. Push through," Myron said and I pushed through. I finished and stepped off of the treadmill. He handed me a small trash can and I vomited into it.
"Fuck," I mumbled and rinsed my mouth out with water.
"You alright? You think you can go the rest of the workout? I don't wanna push you too hard," he said and I waved him off.
"I'm okay," I said standing up. We started working out again and by the end, I could've fallen asleep on the floor.
"Get up," he said helping me up. I got up and wanted to fall over.
"Megan asked about you," he said knowing how I felt about her.
"What did she ask?" I said wiping my sweat off.
"She asked how you were doing and why hasn't she seen you in over two years," he replied handing me a bottle of water.
"Ohh," I mumbled.
"Go shower," he said and I did. When I came back downstairs, he was cooking dinner.
"We're going to do a caloric deficit," he said and I nodded.
"When's the last time you talked to momma?" I asked quietly and he smiled sadly.
"Yesterday," he replied.
"What did she say?" I asked.
"Nothing worth repeating," he said and I frowned.
"She still doesn't wanna talk to me?" I asked him and he sighed nodding.
"She does know I was just doing what dad wanted, right?"
"I've tried explaining that a lot, but she don't want to hear it. She thinks you let dad die, but she doesn't wanna face that he was in a lot of pain."
"I miss her, but obviously it doesn't matter," I said and he nodded. My phone began ringing and I mindlessly answered it.
"Hello," I said into the phone.
"Hey, Y/N," Megan said and my eyes widen.
"H-h-hey, Megan," I said and Myron looked up at me trying not to laugh.
"How have you been? You're a hard man to get in contact with," she said.
"I've been okay. Just been going through a lot mentally and physically. I didn't want to be a burden so I stopped talking to people."
"It's okay. I understand. Everyone grieves differently," she said and I sighed.
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"I missed talking to you. Feels like I haven't heard your voice in forever. When can I see you?" she asked.
"In a few months," I told her and she sighed.
"How long is a few?" she questioned.
"About seven and I promise you'll see me. I promise," I told her.
"You pinky promise?" she asked.
"I pinky promise, Megan," I replied.
"Okay, I'll call you later. I gotta go," she said.
"Okay, talk to you later."
"Bye, love you."
"Love you too," I said and she hung up. I rested my head on the table and sighed before looking up at Myron.
