Ji Young slowly opens her eyes, waking up with a happy smile on her face. She quickly checks her surroundings, she remembers where she is and how she got there.
After their make out session at the private studio, Chanyeol drove Ji Young to his personal apartment and the two spent the night together. It was something they were both waiting for so long, their bodies were burning with desire to become one again, it just felt right, destined to happen.
She slowly sits up on the bed, running her fingers in her long messy hair. She makes sure to keep most of her bare skin covered with the white sheets. She looks outside the wide window, narrowing her eyes dye to the blinding morning sunlight but a smile is glued on her face. She enjoys the warmth of the sun kissing her bare shoulders and arms and face.
Just then the bedroom door opens and Ji Young can't hide her smile at the ungodly sight.
Here he is, the love of her life, standing under the door frame looking insanely beautiful. Only wearing a pair of dark sweatpants, his bare chest and muscular arms make her blood boil with lust. Or is it his playful smirk, or his wavy dark hair pushed behind exposing his forehead, or maybe his flaming brown eyes. Ji Young can't even decide what's making her heart race and her breathing stop, but she certainly can't stop looking at him.
"Are you finally up?" His husky voice give her goosebumps and she can't even answer, too taken aback by his beauty.
Chanyeol chuckles, walking to her. He sits at the edge of the bed, smirking.
All he can think about is that she's the most beautiful girl he has even seen.
He can't get enough of her. He quietly admires the way her long hair fall lightly on her shoulder, his eyes carefully scan her pale soft skin and he smirks at the sight of a couple of dark love marks on her collar bones. His eyes then move up to her gorgeous face. Doll-like eyes, long eyelashes, pale cheeks and naturally pink lips. He is certain that she's the prettiest girl his eyes her ever met.
Without a word, he slowly moves above her, her rolling on her back and letting him trap her underneath him.
He smiles for the millionth time, his fingers playing with the wisps of her hair as his eyes remain on hers "You're so beautiful"
Ji Young smiles, shy and allows him to kiss her. A light, soft kiss. He always used to give her good morning kisses and hugs when they were together, and she had missed these moments too much that she finds it hard to believe this is really happening right now.
Seconds later he pulls away to look into her eyes, these eyes that he can't stop looking for "I love you so much Ji Young"
Ji Young's smile slowly disappears. She wants to scream her love to him, she wants the whole world to know about her love for this man. But, she's too scared of the consequences.
Chanyeol sighs, gently caressing her hair with his hand. He wants her to say it back, he needs to hear it in her voice. But he can't force her and he certainly doesn't want to do so now that he finally has her.
'It's okay. You dont have to say it back, I already know you feel the same'
Ji Young looks calm under his touch and gaze but she's basically fighting inside her. Her heart is screaming at her to say it back, to accept his love and tell him the truth about everything she's been hiding so well for years. But her mind is asking her to think reasonably and forget about it, since accepting him back would only put him in danger.
Chanyeol realizes she's been quiet for too long.
'Always thinking too much'
"I made breakfast. Let's go eat" he softly whispers before leaving a quick kiss on her lips and moving away from her. He's acting as if he didn't just get ignored.
'What are we now? Are we back together? Was last night just a moment of weakness?' A million thoughts spin inside his head, but he asks none. Every word is a risk of loosing her again, not that he certainly has her back. Chanyeol is definitely confused but happy.
He was about to stand up when he feels her hand on his bare shoulder.
He turns around, she seems to hesitate to speak and she eventually move closer to kiss his cheek.
She then rests her chin on his shoulder, her lips inches away from his ear when she softly whispers "I'm sorry"
Chanyeol feels his heart drop to his feet.
Ji Young lets out a small sigh, desperate. She just wants to be with the man she loves.
Chanyeol looks strong despite the fact that he just got dumped. He simply nods his head, his hand holding hers on his shoulder "Let's go eat"
[...]
"So" Ji Young peeks at him, bringing the coffee mug to her lips to blow on the hot beverage.
"So?" Chanyeol repeats, not taking his eyes off the slice of bread that he's preparing to eat. He spreads a good amount of strawberry jam on the bread, he's always hungry in the morning.
Ji Young observes his moves, she watches him take a huge bite while she only enjoys her coffee "Are we going to talk about it?"
Just then he takes his eyes off of the food to give her a surprised look "What about it? You didn't like it?"
"What??" Ji Young almost spit the coffee out, she coughs to clear her throat "No not about THAT Chanyeol!"
"Oh, for a moment I thought you didn't like it" Chanyeol smirks at the sight of her flushed cheeks, and she shoots him a deadly glare, making him chuckle with joy. He always enjoyed teasing her, making her shy.
'She's so cute'
"I was talking about you thinking of quitting the group"
The smile on his face faints away at the sound of her words. He looks down at the food in front of him. He grabs a second slice of bread, repeating the same actions.
Ji Young sighs. She carefully leaves the mug down on the table before crossing her arms on her stomach, her face looking so serious as if she's having a meeting with her work team "Chanyeol. You can't do it"
"Why are you not even asking the reason why I'm thinking about it" He lets out, droping the knife on the table and giving her a desperate look.
All she can do is stare at him, lost.
He takes her silence as a sign for him to go on "You can't tell me what to do or not do. You can't control my life"
"Okay then, why do you want to quit?" She quickly asks and Chanyeol lets out a heavy sigh in response, letting his head drop.
He takes a few seconds before facing her again, his eyes sad and his deep voice so low that it's barely audible "Because I can't do this without you"
He stares deep into her eyes, trying to read her soul. He knows her too well, he knows that his words will hurt her, but he can't lie about a thing to her.
Quiet, Ji Young seems unable to speak as she stares back at the love of her life. She feels a heavy weight on her chest, as if something is averting her from breathing.
Seeing that she's at loss of words, Chanyeol decides to go on and make it simpler for her "I just can't keep on living as if everything's okay and normal while I can't have the girl I'm in love with" he pauses, taking in a deep breath "It's too much, I...I need you by my side jagiya. My life...is so empty with you gone"
Ji Young listens to his words, completely silent.
"I can't compose, I can't write lyrics, I can't focus in practice...I can't pretend to be happy in front of millions of people knowing that someone is keeping you away from me"
"Chanyeol-"
"Please don't try to change my mind" he quickly cuts her off, his eyes shining with tears but he looks strong "I haven't taken a final decision yet. What you read was just some rumors nothing is official yet"
"Your members? What about them?"
"They know."
Ji Young's jaw drops, she tries to think of the right words to say but nothing comes to her head.
Chanyeol looks torn. He lets out a heavy sigh, looking away and running his fingers in his hair. He bites down his lower lip, thinking of the last time he saw his members a day ago when he announced his thought of leaving the group. He cares about them too much, and he will never forget the shock in their eyes as he walked out of the dorm.
He looks at her once more before standing up "Eat up and leave" and he walks away, leaving Ji Young behind. She sighs in desperation as she lets her head fall in her small hands.
'What am I going to do...'
~~
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~Take care,
Kate