Aspen
I should have ran outside. I should have tried my luck in the pouring rain, even if it was dark and maybe just maybe I would have gotten away. Maybe Theo wouldn't have me trapped and robbed me of what I would never offer him.
It nagged on me that even if I had fled outside, I wouldn't have known what to do. The nearest house was gated and I didn't even know who lived there, how could I have begged them for help? How could I have told them Chris was hurt and dying, that a man was trying to rape me.
I could feel the burning of his touch as he held me down, my mind spinning in an endless loop. All I could do was shake in fear, trying to push him away as he lowered his face to mine, lowering to my lips. Even when I turned, he forced me to look at him, robbing me of a kiss. Rough lips against mine, cold and ruthless. I hated him.
A cruel laugh escaped his lips at my struggles, enjoying seeing me so helpless. To see me begging but not for the thing he wanted but for him to let me go. I sobbed and shuddered with each passing second, my voice becoming hoarse with every plea.
Screaming for help.
For Chris
I jolted awake, fear and pain intertwining together as I opened my eyes to see clear light, a blinding light that made me close my eyes. Fear clawed at me, panic making me shift in the bed, my head throbbing at the sudden movement. Body aching with agony.
Yet it all went away in a flash as I felt soft sheets underneath me, the smell of fresh linens and a hint of lavender making me open my eyes.
One thing I knew for sure was that I wasn't at Chris's house. The room wasn't one I knew, clean white floors gleamed under the fluorescent lights, lavender coloured walls that had white lines running around. The more I saw the line, the more I remembered. It was like a string, pulling in all the events at once.
Image after image snaked its way to my mind, feeling Theos hold on me, seeing Chris punch him. Blood coating my fingers as Chris staggered, hearing the panic in his voice as he screamed for me to run.
My heart picked up at that, beating frantically, hands shaking vigorously. I heard the alarming sound of a machine, its beeping increasing as did the images.
All I could see was that snarky smirk, the empty eyes as Theo plunged the knife in Chris again. His eyes hooded and piercing through my skin as he walked to me, rough hands grabbing me. Tears flowed down my cheeks, pain skidding across my body as I curled into a ball. Blocking out the images, his touch, his awful breath on me.
The more I thought, the more I pushed my mind to think but I couldn't remember if it had gone further, if Theo had been capable of raping me, of tainting my body with his. He had stabbed Chris twice without so much as remorse, had killed him. Oh God- my body shook with that.
Dead. Chris was dead.
The physical pain I had was nonexistent as I felt my heart being gutted out of my chest. Breaking and shattering, my head shutting off completely at that.
Dead
Chris was dead and I couldn't tell him what I had in mind, what I felt. I couldn't tell him that I was so wrong and that in all these months I had fallen- warm hands touched my arms. I jerked my head up, moving at the touch. Eyes connecting with dark brown eyes, concern and sympathy etching her features.
"Who are you?" I demanded her. Where was I? Who was she? Why was she touching me? Where was Chris's body? I wanted- I needed to see him.
The woman took a step back at my voice, raising her hands. "Miss. Miller- Aspen. I'm Dr. Nydia Klotzbach, you're in the hospital," she said softly as if I were a wounded animal. And maybe I was, I couldn't tell what had happened, all I knew was that Chris was dead and that Th- that man had raped me. That was the only obvious reason as to why my body ached with agony, why I was in a hospital, why she was speaking to me like I had lost everything. Again.
Tears stung my eyes, flowing easily down my cheeks as I thought about him. I buried my head in my hands, flinching as I felt a sting. "Sh- Aspen don't do that. You'll hurt yourself more," she said as I felt her arm on my wrist.
I wanted to tell her how it didn't matter, how nothing mattered because he was dead. Because he had raped me. Because I had nothing. I sobbed harder at every single thought, body shaking, images flowing in easily. "Hey-" warm fingers wrapped around my wrist, holding me down- "Calm down Aspen. Everything is fine."
I couldn't calm down. How could she say such things when Chris was dead, when I had… I was disgusted with myself, tainted and dirty.
"He raped me," I sobbed. "He's dead."
Dark brows lifted, a confused look crossing her features. "Who's dead?"
The man that had made me feel like every sin was worth it. "Chris."
Dr. Nydia shook her head, "No Ms. Miller. I- he's not- why don't you tell me what happened while I fix your IV."
I swallowed, moving to sit down properly on the bed. Dr. Nydia moving to my other side, "We- I was in the kitchen. Theo-" his name was a curse on my lips- "He- Chris told me to run. He tried to save me but it was pouring outside and dark. And I needed to help him, to save him because Theo stabbed him."
I could feel the blood on my fingers, sticky and hot. His blood. I shuddered, "I tried running to a phone but Theo caught me. He dragged me to the living room, he told me not to fight. And I did. God I fought but I couldn't do anything as he stood over me. As everything went black. He raped me," I cried out.
"He killed Chris and then he raped me."
She stopped moving my wrist, "Christian isn't dead. No one raped you."
I looked up at her, brown eyes soft and full of sympathy. "Don't lie to me." Don't lie and tell me that he's alive, don't give me false hope of seeing him again.
"I'm not lying to you Aspen. You- God. Let me tell you what happened. Or what I know okay?" I could only nod at her, confused. My head pounded, throbbed with pain as did my body. I didn't know what happened, didn't even know what day it was.
"I was talking to Dr. Keaton when I heard a scream. I assume it was you?" Theo leaned down to kiss me. His lips rough against my skin. "Well I stayed on the line not knowing what was going on. Christian didn't answer me and I started worrying so I called the cops. I then drove myself to his house. When I got there, the cops were already inside. It was a scene, truly. Chris was holding you so tightly against him as he bled out, crying as another man lay unconscious a few feet from both of y'all."
A weight I didn't even know was pressing me down lifted, "So I wasn't raped?"
She shook her head. "The man didn't go as far as to rape you. We checked-'' a look crossed her features, lips pressing down tightly- "You were hurt badly. Bruises along your sides, a minor head concussion which caused you to pass out but no one harmed you." Relief, my body loosening at her words. I- my body was still mine. Mine.
"And Chris? You said he wasn't dead. I want to see him."
Dr. Nydia smiled softly, ""Dr. Keaton is in his room. Recovering. He's fine. You're fine. The other man on the other hand. He's somewhere in the hospital with a severe concussion and a few broken ribs, under arrest obviously," she added. I wasn't one to wish someone death, but I could only wish Theo were dead.
"Can I see him? Chris?" I needed to see him, I needed to tell him so many things.
She nodded, "Of course. But first let's get you cleaned up and checked."
Dr. Nydia called in another nurse who gave me water, warm hands helping me to the bathroom. Dr. Nydia asked me various questions on how I felt, if I was dizzy or lightheaded. How much pain I was in. I knew it was horrible, a sin to lie but I did. I told her I was fine, even when I was faltering on moving. I told her I was in minimal pain as I stood up, side aching and head throbbing.
If she knew I was lying, she didn't say anything as she gave white robe. My fingers shook as I tied the strings in a knot, holding onto her arm as she led me out the room. Ever so carefully she helped me, my socks covered feet gliding easily across the floor. Eyes skidding across each door we passed, each person. Looking for him, for those grey hues, that smile and lips.
Stopping in front of a door that looked like the rest, Dr. Nydia pushed it open, taking one step away from me. "Dr. Keaton guess who came to see you," she called out as I took an unsteady step forward. Then another until I saw him, eyes on me.
I cracked.
Tears stained my eyes, my cheeks as he opened his arms. Alive. Pushing away the pain, the agony and suffering. I rushed to him, my eyes blurry as he wrapped his arms around me. Sobbing into his chest, arms pulling me so close it was almost inappropriate. "Okay well. I guess I'll leave you two. Call me if you need anything Chris," Dr. Nydia said awkwardly.
I didn't turn around to see her leave, I didn't say anything as I pulled Chris closer to me. As I breathed him in, his body stiff against mine. I heard the door click shut, my eyes rising to meet Chris's. "Hi."
I fell into his arms once more at his voice, at the roughness and softness in it, at the care. "Don't cry. You're okay," Chris murmured softly as his hand moved down my back.
Chris
*That night*
Aspen cried with a fear that made me want to kill.
Above the loud tapping of rain, above the soft hum of the air conditioner, her screams were all I heard. Sobs full of pain, horrible screams I couldn't bear to hear. It slashed my soul knowing I was faulty for this.
My body was heavy as I rolled on the floor, seeing the twinkling of lights above me. Bringing my hand to my side, I pressed down as hard as I could. Pure agony rattled my body, blood staining my already coated fingers. I could barely keep them still, hand shaking at the thought of her.
Something in me snapped as I heard my name. There was no greater pain than hearing my name, pleading.
Aspen
Closing my eyes I saw those love filled brown eyes, I saw the lines and curves. The flush of her cheeks and quirk of her lips. I heard her laugh and voice, and saw those precious lips that I had fallen for. I saw her frightened and whimpering with fear that I couldn't just lay there to die.
If I were to die, I'd take another soul with me.
With a heaviness, I gripped the counter. Pulling myself up, stretching and pressing down to stop the blood. Holding onto the wall, leaving a trail of blood as I staggered out of the room. I needed stitches, I needed a doctor, I needed Aspen.
It was a struggle against my own body, to move and hold on. To keep the will to stay awake long enough for her but the more I moved, the more the searing pain hit me, begging me to stop. To rethink what I was about to do.
But nothing mattered. Not my reputation or what others thought. There wasn't one thing I cared more about that wasn't her.
First her, always her.
Aspen
I dragged myself across the kitchen, following her sobs. I could hear his voice, a laugh erupting from him with each second. Until I heard nothing. Until her sobs were gone.
Panic. Fear. Agony.
I couldn't walk any faster, my hand braced against the wall for support. A few more steps, a few feet, a few seconds.
My head spinned with each step, seeing the flash of white and black. Seeing the smudges of blood on the floor, the near deafening noise pressing down on me.
I didn't know exactly what I would be walking into, I didn't know if I would be too late to save her. But I'd try. This time I had the advantage, Theo didn't. This time, he would die.
I reached the foyer, staggering against the wall as I reached for the hidden closet. I pulled on the latch, fingers curling around the heavy metal, a fucking pricey metal that was meant to hit a ball. And I guess it would hit a damn ball. I took the golf club with me, holding on.
Moving with as much stealth as I could, I flinched at the sight before me. I pushed away the fog, the throbbing pain. I pushed away every single feeling that didn't involve rage.
Theo stood over Aspen, pants tugged to his knees. He didn't turn around, he didn't even see me as I moved, too preoccupied with removing Aspens clothes. Standing behind him, I took a swing.
I bit down on my tongue at the pain, at the pull of my flesh.
Theo stumbled sideways, knocked off balance with the force I used. Shock filled eyes stared up at me, disbelief lining his features. I didn't care about him. If he lived or died. I didn't care if I went to jail, I didn't care if I lost my license. Nothing mattered as I took another swing.
He fell with a loud thud. My knuckles tight as I took another swing, digging the end of the club at his throat. Pushing his head away, pushing him away from her.
I didn't even check if he was dead before dropping to my knees, seeing her eyes closed. I could feel the sting of tears, feel them running down my face as I pulled her away. "I'm sorry."
She didn't move, didn't respond. My hands shook as I tried bringing her close to me, making out a breath, a heartbeat. Anything.
And ever so fairly against my shaking fingers, a beat pulsed underneath me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, brushing away the tears, my lips against her forehead.
Pulling her as close to me as possible, I pushed my hand to my side. The world tilted and still I didn't let go off Aspen, my eyes begging to close. To rest.
And I would have but then there was a bang. Looking up, the door flew across the foyer, men in uniform rushing in with guns drawn.
Cops? How did they know? I hadn't- a woman pushed past the men. Brown eyes gazing around the room until they fell on me. Horror crossed her features, Nydia running across for me. "Fucking hell Christian."
Apologies on lateness. Sometimes its hard to write detail.
I would have killed Chris, but ugh.