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Aspen

I should have ran outside. I should have tried my luck in the pouring rain, even if it was dark and maybe just maybe I would have gotten away. Maybe Theo wouldn't have me trapped and robbed me of what I would never offer him. 

It nagged on me that even if I had fled outside, I wouldn't have known what to do. The nearest house was gated and I didn't even know who lived there, how could I have begged them for help? How could I have told them Chris was hurt and dying, that a man was trying to rape me. 

I could feel the burning of his touch as he held me down, my mind spinning in an endless loop. All I could do was shake in fear, trying to push him away as he lowered his face to mine, lowering to my lips. Even when I turned, he forced me to look at him, robbing me of a kiss. Rough lips against mine, cold and ruthless. I hated him. 

A cruel laugh escaped his lips at my struggles, enjoying seeing me so helpless. To see me begging but not for the thing he wanted but for him to let me go. I sobbed and shuddered with each passing second, my voice becoming hoarse with every plea. 

Screaming for help.

For Chris

I jolted awake, fear and pain intertwining together as I opened my eyes to see clear light, a blinding light that made me close my eyes. Fear clawed at me, panic making me shift in the bed, my head throbbing at the sudden movement. Body aching with agony. 

Yet it all went away in a flash as I felt soft sheets underneath me, the smell of fresh linens and a hint of lavender making me open my eyes. 

One thing I knew for sure was that I wasn't at Chris's house. The room wasn't one I knew, clean white floors gleamed under the fluorescent lights, lavender coloured walls that had white lines running around. The more I saw the line, the more I remembered. It was like a string, pulling in all the events at once. 

Image after image snaked its way to my mind, feeling Theos hold on me, seeing Chris punch him. Blood coating my fingers as Chris staggered, hearing the panic in his voice as he screamed for me to run. 

My heart picked up at that, beating frantically, hands shaking vigorously. I heard the alarming sound of a machine, its beeping increasing as did the images. 

All I could see was that snarky smirk, the empty eyes as Theo plunged the knife in Chris again. His eyes hooded and piercing through my skin as he walked to me, rough hands grabbing me. Tears flowed down my cheeks, pain skidding across my body as I curled into a ball. Blocking out the images, his touch, his awful breath on me. 

The more I thought, the more I pushed my mind to think but I couldn't remember if it had gone further, if Theo had been capable of raping me, of tainting my body with his. He had stabbed Chris twice without so much as remorse, had killed him. Oh God- my body shook with that. 

Dead. Chris was dead. 

The physical pain I had was nonexistent as I felt my heart being gutted out of my chest. Breaking and shattering, my head shutting off completely at that. 

Dead

Chris was dead and I couldn't tell him what I had in mind, what I felt. I couldn't tell him that I was so wrong and that in all these months I had fallen- warm hands touched my arms. I jerked my head up, moving at the touch. Eyes connecting with dark brown eyes, concern and sympathy etching her features. 

"Who are you?" I demanded her. Where was I? Who was she? Why was she touching me? Where was Chris's body? I wanted- I needed to see him. 

The woman took a step back at my voice, raising her hands. "Miss. Miller- Aspen. I'm Dr. Nydia Klotzbach, you're in the hospital," she said softly as if I were a wounded animal. And maybe I was, I couldn't tell what had happened, all I knew was that Chris was dead and that Th- that man had raped me. That was the only obvious reason as to why my body ached with agony, why I was in a hospital, why she was speaking to me like I had lost everything. Again. 

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