Teach Me [COMPLETED✔]

8

Aspen

Things felt weird.

The air in the house was thick with tension. But I didn't know why, there was nothing that came to mind that I did.

I had woken up in my bed once more, lingering thoughts of Chris holding me. His hand slowly moving up and down my arm, lightly tracing imaginary lines. It was greed that made me want to feel those hands again, greed that made me dream of something that should never happen.

Yet when I went downstairs, Chris wouldn't look at me. His grey eyes seemed to be more interested in anything but me, which sent a pang of hurt. Worry lacing it, forming knots of whatever I could have done. And as hard as I tried to rake my mind, nothing stood out. Unless I had done things without knowing, subconsciously.

A part of me, the religious one felt the need to confront him. To understand what was happening, to straighten out facts.

Had my questions bothered him? Had I done wrong to even ask those questions to him? Was I wrong to have hugged him? To me it felt normal, to hug him. To feel comfort and security in his hold.

We were eating breakfast when I decided to ask. "Did I do something wrong?" My words fell off my tongue easily, rapidly before I could back away.

I visibly saw him stiffen, but his eyes didn't move from the newspaper he was holding. "What do you mean?"

The next part, I wasn't proud of. I think my actions fell under wrath, to feel such emotion from him.

I gritted my teeth, snapping the paper away from him. "This is what I mean!" I waved my hand at him, his eyes still looking at everything except me.

"Look at me," I practically begged him. His grey eyes slowly rising to meet mine, eyes guarded. Like the old times, like the time we meet. It brought a bitter taste to my mouth remembering those eyes, it was a blow to me, to see him so distant. When all I wanted was to be close to him, to know him.

In more than one way. My mind hissed.

My mind was right, I wanted to be closer to him. I had realized that maybe the crush I had on him was more than that. Everytime I saw him, I could feel the butterflies. I wanted to see him smile, to see those grey eyes light up. To see him at ease without worry lining his beautiful face, see the edges of him soften.

Now more often than not, I would see him shirtless. His different darkly coloured sweats riding low on his hips. My cheeks suddenly found themselves hot, my eyes dipping to see the lines that carved his body.

Once, I saw him flex while getting water. The reaction I got was something out of place, my mouth had watered at that sight. The pit of my stomach curling and knotting with an ache. We were slowly getting comfortable, and so far I hadn't seen him bring another woman over, or maybe he had but I didn't hear.

I'll be honest, everytime I thought of that night. My body heated up in an unnecessary form, an ache pulsing in between my legs. I didn't know why, but I felt something. It felt strange, something I had never felt before.

It wasn't until I showered that I saw a white spot on my underwear. And I was confused by it, was something wrong? In all my years I had gotten sick, but it was a fever or a cough. Nothing major that had made me go to the hospital or need to worry about. That white spot almost reminded me of the day I got my period, I had been shocked. Had freaked out thinking I was bleeding out. But I wasn't, I was maturing as the nuns had said. I was becoming a lady.

And now, it concerned me. Was I evolving? I wanted to ask Chris about it, after all he was a doctor. But what would I have told him? It felt shameful to bring up the thoughts that surrounded my head.